Dad Doesn't Want Kids Sharing Their Bedrooms With New Stepsiblings & Wife Doesn't Get It

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Uniting two families into one great big blended family can be pretty amazing -- but that's not to say it's always easy to navigate at first. Sometimes, the best thing parents can do is keep things as consistent as possible for the sake of the kids. This was likely what one Reddit dad had in mind when he told his new wife that he didn't want their kids to share rooms after they moved in together. But apparently, she thinks he's being unreasonable, and it's sparked some major debate within their new household.

  • Although the two families are "comfortable" with each other, that doesn't mean the dad's kids are cool with sharing their space.

    Sure, they've all known each other for four years, but now that they are due to move in together, the dad admits he's nervous about the transition. He has a 13-year-old son and 10-year-old daughter who live with him full time, whereas she has a 10-year-old son and a 9-year-old daughter who would be living with them part time. 

    But those age differences can kind be kind of a big deal.

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  • Right now, his new wife and her kids are set to move into his four-bedroom house.

    To make sure that all the kids have their own room, the dad suggested that they turn the semifinished basement into a bedroom, but it doesn't appear his new wife is on board for that plan.

    "Here’s the issue," he shared in his post. "I promised my kids that their rooms would not change. And I intend to keep that promise."

  • He's reluctant to force his kids to share a room -- or even to swap.

    Instead, his plan is for his new stepkids to share the fourth bedroom until they can turn the basement into a new bedroom.

    But his wife wants to make the two boys share a room and the two girls share another, so she can convert the basement into an office. 

    She'd rather do this, the dad explained, so that she's not working at the dinner table.

  • But the anonymous father is starting to get nervous. After all, he made a promise to his kids that he intends to keep.

    His wife thought he needed to explain to the children that things are going to have to change a bit now that the family is coming together under one roof.

    But he says his kids have been "nervous" ever since the wedding, even though he told them not to worry.

  • Of course, he doesn't want his wife to think he doesn't care about her kids ... but is he wrong for going the extra mile to keep his promise to his?

    "I know it’s going to be hard on [my kids]" he wrote."They refer to not wanting 'annoying little shadows' around them in their rooms. They do all get along, but my wife’s kids, being younger sort of idolize my kids."

  • Some Redditors think the dad totally bungled this whole blended family thing.


    "Of course you want to make this on easy on your kids as possible," one commenter wrote. "But think about your wife's children -- their lives are being uprooted even more than your kids' lives are. They're leaving their home, their bedrooms, and going to move in to an entirely new place."

    "You each have a child the same age," the person continued. "What makes it fair to allow one 10 year old to have their own room and another 10 year old has to share with a younger sibling? If your marriage is an equal partnership, why do her kids get the short end of the stick?"

    "Suggest she hold off moving in with you until you work out the fourth room or find a new place that you’ve discussed with ALL four kids first," another person recommended.

    "Taking away an extra bedroom because it's 'fair to the kids' is ridiculous," someone else wrote. "What Original Poster needs to do is finish that room downstairs ASAP."

  • Others are applauding the dad for standing by his promise to his kids.


    "Not the [expletive] as long as you intend on fixing up the basement ASAP," one commenter wrote. "You have to make it clear to your step-children that them sharing is temporary and give a timeframe -- otherwise they will feel like they matter less than your children who do not have to share a room."

    "NTA: I'd delay moving her in until the fifth bedroom is ready though, " a second person agreed. "Making your kids share the rooms they've had to themselves for most of their lives is a recipe for resentment towards the step-family."

    "Your kids whole life is changing soon," another person reasoned. "Having their own safe, private space to retreat to can only be a good thing -- for all the kids. Get the basement room finished and see about making an office space down there too."

  • After reading the comments, the dad realized he had to stick to his guns: The basement's gotta go.

    "The next logical thing is to turn the basement into a bedroom," he wrote later in the thread. "Which I’m going to do. 

    He also called out how "weirdly fixated" his wife seems to be on having a basement office all to herself -- and he's just not sure that's the right thing for everyone.

    "It is weird in my eyes she seems more interested in that than where her kids are gonna sleep," he pointed out. 

    Whatever happens, we sure hope the transition into this new family life goes as smoothly as possible (for everyone).

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