Husband Refuses To Brush His Teeth More Than Once a Week & Doesn't Get Why It's a Turnoff

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Man brushing teeth
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When it comes to turnoffs, there are few things worse than a bad case of stinky breath. But usually, a quick brushing can fix you right up. That is, unless you're one woman's husband, who not only suffers from a case of bad breath, but also refuses to brush his teeth -- and doesn't get why his wife has a problem with it. In fact, he recently told her it hurts his feelings that she won't kiss him on the mouth anymore. But people on the internet aren't so sure the wife is is in the wrong here. Instead, they agree that her husband's reluctance to brush his own teeth is pretty darn gross.

  • The anonymous woman, who recently shared the story on Reddit, says her husband *dabbled* in teeth-brushing when they first started dating.

    The couple first started dating in college, she explained in the post, which has since been deleted from the online forum. But soon after, they broke up and moved across the country from each other. They only reconnected a few years after they graduated, and began dating again long-distance.

    "Every couple of weeks we would take turns visiting each other," she continued. "During these visits, we would brush our teeth together at night. I thought it was cute."

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  • Eventually, they decided to move in together -- which was when her now-husband started brushing his teeth less and less.

    Eventually, he had to fess-up that he actually wasn't a regular tooth brusher after all.

    "He doesn't like toothpaste and he doesn't like how it makes his mouth feel," she explained.

    But don't worry, he had a "system" ...

    "His system was that he had a 'goal' of brushing his teeth on Fridays," she continued. "I'd say for the first year of our marriage, he met that goal less than 50 percent of the time."

    Yikes.

  • And yet, (somehow) the wife has been able to live with it.

    Sure, she admits it was a little weird, but if his breath really stank she would just tell him. 

    "We could joke about it, and I could ask him to brush and he wouldn't take offense," she explained. "There was one time he decided it was time to get into the habit so he brushed his teeth every day for like two weeks, but then stopped."

  • But recently, the wife noticed that ever since they've moved further away from her husband's family, his breath has been getting stinkier.

    He's also much more sensitive whenever she asks him to brush his teeth, and his bad hygiene has started to creep into other parts of their lives. 

    "A couple weeks ago, we were getting hot and heavy, but I kept smelling his bad breath and it was honestly turning me off," she shared. "I asked if we could both freshen up before going any further and he got really upset."

  • That's when the conversation shifted, and became way more serious than she ever expected.

    "He told me that there are already so many things he's changed in his life for me, why don't I accept him the way he is, and that I'm manipulating him," she continued. "He said that if his breath was such a turn-off, then he accepted that I wouldn't want to have sex with him."

    The wife was stunned. 

    "I couldn't believe that he would rather not brush his teeth and not have sex, than take a minute to fix such a small problem," she shared.

    But the couple's disagreement also made it crystal-clear to the woman (if it wasn't before) that her husband would never become a regular brusher.

    "It's not a deal breaker, he's an amazing partner and I love him to death," she wrote. "I didn't understand it at all, but I accepted that's how he felt."

  • But that doesn't mean she's anxious to get physical again any time soon.

    In fact, she's even refused his advances recently. 

    "This morning, he asked me why and I told him," she wrote. "And he got upset. He told me it really hurt his feelings and that I'm making him feel like there's something wrong with him."

    Now, the woman feels like she's stuck between a rock and a hard place. Either she's called manipulative for telling her husband to brush, or she's being cruel by not wanting to have sex.

    "I'm just astounded that this is a real situation I'm in," she explained. "We're such a good team otherwise and it feels so stupid to have these arguments over something so petty. But I can't turn off my physical response to his bad breath, so I'm at a complete loss. What do I do, Reddit??"

  • There seemed to be no real debate, according to Redditors: Her husband needs to brush his teeth -- end of story.


    "He can't not brush his teeth and then be upset you aren't attracted to his nasty breath," one commenter wrote. "I just don't see why it's such a big deal to brush your teeth ... He is being like a child that won't eat vegetables."

    "There is something wrong with him, he doesn't take dental hygiene seriously and refuses to brush his teeth like some toddler," a second person agreed. "It makes his breath stink. He's going to end up with some serious dental problems as well."

    "Sit down with him and tell him that he needs to brush his teeth, if not for you and your sex life then for his long term health," the commenter continued. "If he doesn't want to brush, and his breath smells so bad you don't want to have sex with him, that's a natural consequence of being ridiculous about something he absolutely should be doing."

  • Some encouraged the wife to just be honest about how this is all making her feel.

    "Dude be honest," one commenter said. "'You're right, I'm NOT attracted to you, and I'm not accepting of the fact you won't brush your teeth. It's gross and a complete turn off. You also said you would accept that if I did not want to have sex with you if your breath smelled bad. Brush your teeth if you want to have sex, it's basic hygiene and I can imagine others can smell your breath as well when you talk to them.'"

    "I feel like you are *slightly* enabling this by walking on eggshells," the person continued.

  • Others suggested that maybe there's something deeper going on here.

    Perhaps the move away from his family has hit him harder than she realizes, some people noted.

    To that, the wife did have to agree.

    "I don't think he's depressed, but this move has been hard on him," the wife shared, in a later comment on the thread. "This is helpful to maybe think that there is a real underlying issue that we can address."

    Hopefully, digging deeper will help repair things between the two.

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