Bride's New Husband Found Out She Was Pregnant During the Wedding Thanks to a Nosy Coworker

Twenty20

Bride and groom hold champagne on wedding day
Twenty20

A new bride is mortified after the day of her dreams was ruined by one guest's nasty gossip-spreading. The newlywed recently wrote in to Slate's "Dear Prudence" advice column, where she was looking for a little solace after a coworker from her small office came to her wedding and told everyone that the bride seemed pregnant. No surprise, the rumor took off like wild fire -- and now, the bride says her special day turned into one giant mess.

  • The drama first went down at the reception, after the nosy coworker noticed the bride wasn't drinking.

    At her wedding, no matter how much the bride reminded her coworker "Kim" that she doesn't really drink, Kim couldn't keep her mouth shut. "I kept telling Kim I just don’t drink, something everyone knows," the bride wrote. "She even teases me about it every week when everyone at the office goes to happy hour at a local pub. I asked her to stop, but she didn’t." 

    But then things went from bad to worse when Kim immediately blabbed to fellow guests, declaring that the bride was, in fact, pregnant.

    "By the end of the night, I had guests coming up to congratulate me and my confused husband on our upcoming baby," the bride wrote. "They were asking when the due date was and what the gender was, and telling me that they had thought I looked pregnant but hadn’t wanted to say anything."

    The rumor turned into a real point of frustration as the night went on. 

    "Over the course of the night, this rumor had transformed into common knowledge that I was pregnant, no matter how much I tried to deflect it away," she added. "My immediate family wanted to know why they were finding out from strangers that I was pregnant."

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  • There was just one tiny problem, though: The bride was kinda, sorta totally pregnant. 

    "I found out Friday, the day before my wedding," the bride wrote. "I hadn’t even had a chance to tell my husband, but I’m less than five weeks along."

    Not only did the nosy coworker "out" her to friends and family, but she also robbed her of the ability to break the news to her husband in a special way.

    "It turned what was supposed to be a happy memory into something I just feel angry and frustrated about, like something was taken from me," the writer continued. "I know I’m being ridiculous, but I’m so upset about this."

    Now, the bride has to return to work, where her fellow coworkers now know that she's pregnant. 

    "I am so mad at Kim I don’t know how I can work with her," she continued. "Do I have to just suck it up and act like everything is fine? Can I tell my co-workers I’m not doing anything outside of work if Kim comes? Am I overreacting? My husband says I’m not, but I’m fairly sure he’s supposed to say that."

  • In the comments, some people argued that Kim was definitely in the wrong, and being a total Mean Girl about the whole thing.


    If Kim was going to act like a terrible friend, she deserved to get ditched, they argued.

    "Kim is clearly not comfortable drinking around someone who doesn't drink," one person wrote in the comments. "Kim is also clearly a jerk and not really your friend. You've explained it to her before and asked her to stop, and she did it at your wedding while watching the dominoes topple. Get new friends."

    Another commenter wholeheartedly agreed, saying, "Kim is not a friend. Best to dump her now and go on your merry way. Don't waste your breath on stupid people, because they won't understand, but rather feel attacked."

    Yet another person felt like the bride was already being way too nice to Kim.

     "You've been very kind to someone who was a badly behaved jerk to you, so kudos to you," the person wrote.

  • Other commenters thought the situation was not so clear cut, though.


    "Kim may not have done much to spread the rumor," one person argued. "She may have just suggested [the] Letter Writer might be pregnant and things got twisted as it passed around from person to person."

    Another person also made this (kind of valid) point: "It's not a rumor if it's true."

    At least one person also noted that perhaps Kim is actually just really intuitive -- which could be looked at as kind of impressive.
    "I have a friend whose mother had an uncanny ability to spot pregnancy in women well before the women themselves were even aware," the person shared. "Her own daughter walked into the house one day and she immediately told her she was pregnant and she was correct. She knew when the cat was pregnant. She just somehow knew. I cannot explain it. Maybe witchcraft?"

    Hmmm ... 
  • Columnist Daniel Mallory Ortberg, however, advised the bride to keep her distance.

    Slate post
    Slate

    Ortberg was completely empathetic in his response to the bride, but advised her that she was going to need to play this one somewhat cool since they worked together. 

    "I think it’s possible for you to say to her, 'I wish you hadn’t kept joking about my pregnancy at my wedding," Ortberg suggested. "It was very difficult to have to explain over and over to my friends and relatives that I hadn’t kept an announcement from them. Please don’t tell people I’m pregnant anymore,' and then keep your distance from her unless you have to talk about work."

    He added that the bride shouldn't feel bad about being upset, either. 

    "I hope that with time you can also remember the things you were able to enjoy about your wedding," he continued, "but it makes sense that you’re angry now.

    "When it comes to everyone else in your life -- presumably your husband first and then the rest of your friends and family -- I think they’ll understand whenever you do tell them that the rumormongering at the wedding had nothing to do with your actual pregnancy," Ortberg explained, "a co-worker got carried away with a bad joke" and "you hadn’t told her something you withheld from them."

    Ortberg suggested the letter writer share her frustration with Kim when she announces her pregnancy or at least with close friends "so they have a sense of what you’ve been going through and how they might best support and sympathize with you now." 

    Above all else, said Ortberg, "I hope she feels thoroughly chastened and never pulls a stunt like this again."

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