Bride Demands Sister Dye Hair & Hide Piercings for Her Wedding Day & Sparks Debate

Bridesmaids wear blue and hold bouquets
Twenty20

Weddings can sure bring out the best or (sadly) the worst in some people. And things can get particularly tricky when the bride gets super specific about wedding day details -- including how she wants the bridal party to look. This was exactly what one bridesmaid faced when her sister asked her to change her appearance for her wedding, so that she wouldn't "stand out" on her big day. That meant removing noticeable piercings and dyeing her hair.

  • The sisters started off on good footing, but when the topic of piercings and hair color came up, things got a bit ... tense.

    As the woman later shared on Reddit, she was happy when her sister became engaged to her boyfriend of two years, but politely asked if she could not be the maid of honor, since she knew her last year of college might not leave much time for MOH duties. The bride seemed to be cool with it, saying that she preferred her best friend to be her MOH anyway. However, things didn't go as smoothly as the sister had hoped when they got into a conversation about the wedding day look.

    "I told a story about a woman asking how I blow my nose (I have three nose piercings including a septum)," the anonymous woman wrote. "[My] sister laughed with my mom, but said 'you're gonna push your septum in and cover your others for my wedding.' I was shocked and denied it."

    The bride then told her sister point-blank that she would be dyeing her orange hair for the big day, too. Both of these proclamations left the sister upset, since she feels that they're both strongly tied to her sense of self-expression.

    "My hair has been colored since I was 16, and recently I feel like I found who I'm supposed to be and how I want to exist physically," she added. "I'm comfortable with who I am and I love who I am." 

    It's not like the bride has a totally traditional look, either, the sister points out. 

    "She also has tattoo sleeves and a nose piercing," the poster wrote.

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  • But now, the sister is left to wonder: Is she wrong for standing her ground and refusing to change her looks for her sister's big day?

    Reddit post
    Reddit

    Despite the fact that the poster loves the color of her hair, her sister is adamant that it has to go. 

    "I told my sister that I am hurt that she expects me to change my appearance just so she doesn't have to see me in photos," the poster continued. "Also, she thinks I will catch attention at the wedding and not enough attention will be on her."

    She even claims her sister told her, "It's my day, I want the attention on me. Why do you want to stand out in my wedding?"

    "I said that I wouldn't stand out because our family knows what I look like and no matter what, the attention will be on her," the woman continued. "I feel guilty because I know she is more insecure than I am, but I partly feel hurt that she is put off by me and has never said anything before. And if she would've asked instead of demanding it, I would've been more open to hiding my piercings or wearing a wig."

  • Some people were seriously perplexed by why this was such a big deal to the bride to begin with.


    In the comments, Redditors argued that the poster had nothing to feel bad about, and added that the whole thing was a pretty strange request.

    "If your 'sister' can't accept this integral aspect of who you are, she deserves neither you nor the work you're putting in on it," one commenter wrote.

    "The 'you’re going to' really p-ssed me off," another person added. "To me, anything the person can’t take off at the end of the day is unreasonable to ask, let alone tell them what they’ll be doing."

    But of all her defenders, perhaps this person said it best: "If the most important thing to your sister about her wedding photos is having everyone matchy-matchy, she shouldn't have asked someone with orange hair to be a bridesmaid," the commenter wrote.

  • Still, plenty of others thought the bride had a point.


    After all -- it is only one day, right?

    For those who tended to side with the bride, they wondered what the big deal was with the sister, who couldn't be bothered to tweak her extreme look for one single calendar day of the year.

    "You could have compromised rather than getting upset," one person wrote. "Say 'What if I keep my piercings but wear a wig?' Sorry but it is her day and I think at least the hair is a reasonable request."

    "It’s a single event for your sister and she wants the focus to be on her, and orange hair is distracting," another person added. "Not only for the event itself, but for every formal photo/group photo."

    Yet another person didn't get what the big deal was. 

    "My sister asked me to dye my hair for her wedding as I was a bridesmaid, I didn't question it," she said. "Seriously how much damage can a brown rinse do?"

    Hmm ... fair point.

    But unfortunately, it doesn't seems like the two sisters will have a meeting of the minds any time soon. Later in the thread, the poster updated to say that she'd offered her sister some alternatives, including "wearing a wig or not being in the photos at all, or if she hates it so much for me to not be a part of the wedding party," the poster shared.

    Spoiler alert: The bride didn't like any of those options.

    "She denied the first two, and our mom is making me be apart of the wedding because we're family," the poster added.

    Oof. Yikes. Whatever happens on the big day, it sounds like it'll certainly be an INTERESTING wedding.

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