Mom Takes a Lick of Girl's Ice Cream -- Seconds Before Learning She 'Accidentally' Used It Instead of Toilet Paper

Sidney Anderson

Blakely Anderson and the infamous ice cream cone
Sidney Anderson

It's true what the say: Kids say the darndest things. But they also do the darndest things. (The weirdest, most bizarre, hilarious, and sometimes disgusting things.) Sidney Anderson, who runs the Facebook page Someone Hold My Beer, knows this all too well. The Milledgeville, Georgia, mom says her daughter Blakely is rather witty, despite being all of 4 years old, and she's used to laughing at all her shenanigans. Still, nothing could have prepared her for the "trauma" of what happened last week, after Blakely handed her an ice cream cone she no longer had use for.

  • According to Anderson, she bought Blakely a McDonald's ice cream cone on Monday, but halfway through eating it, Blakely decided she was done.

    Photo of Blakely Anderson smiling
    Sidney Anderson

    "She walks into the living room and hands me her cone (half eaten like everything I give her) and I know all you moms have been there," Anderson later wrote on Facebook, adding that "we as moms pretty much live off of the food [of] our kids."

    All at once, moms across Facebook nodded their heads -- after all, it's pretty much a parenting rite of passage to find yourself eating all of your kid's discarded food scraps.

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  • Without too much thought, Anderson gave the ice cream cone a quick lick -- after all, it was melting, and she didn't want it dripping everywhere.

    It was at that very moment that she noticed her daughter was staring at her with a curious look on her face.

    "I ask her: 'What’s wrong?'" Anderson recalled, to which her daughter frantically replied, “Is it okay?!"

  • Naturally, that left Anderson with her own question, as she began to wonder: Is what OK?? Why wouldn't the ice cream be delicious ... 

    "At this point I’m scared b/c I don’t know what just happened," Anderson shared in her post. "I think maybe she dropped it in her room and was scared to say. We stand there looking at each other and the ice cream cone."

  • Finally, her daughter came clean with a WHOPPER of an admission: “I accidentally wiped my butt with it,” she told her mother. 

    WHAT. IN. THE WORLD?!?!?!

    Needless to say, Anderson was horrified. 

    "Excuse me?!! " she wrote. "With this ice cream cone I just licked?! Wtf!!" 

  • At this point, Anderson was freaking out. "So I ask this child, 'How do you accidentally wipe your butt with an ice cream ... "

    " ... and WHY did you give it to me to eat????'"

    Honestly, all good questions.

    Except that Blakely's explanation for all of the above was ... well, also unexpected.

  • "She looks me dead in my face and says, 'I used the wrong hand to wipe but it was just pee mommy.'” 


    And apparently, so was Anderson, who jokingly declared in her now-viral Facebook post that she was "DONE!" and requested that "Someone come get these kids [because] I cannot even handle it." 

    "If y’all need me I’ll be washing my mouth out with Clorox," she continued.

    (I don't blame you, Sidney!)

  • Speaking with CafeMom, Anderson says it took a bit for the shock to wear off -- and the humor to set in.

    And when she shared the story on Facebook -- and woke up to literally thousands of likes, shares, and comments, she realized others found the whole thing pretty hilarious too.

    "I posted this post on a Facebook page I created a week ago, as a thing for my friends and family on Facebook to see and someone shared it and it went crazy," she says. "I went to bed with 30 followers and woke up to 40,000. I don't even have but 350 people on my [personal] Facebook page!"

  • It's pretty clear from the comments that the internet is tickled to death over this whole thing -- not to mention the hilarious Blakely.

    Blakely Anderson at the dentist
    Sidney Anderson

    "I’m sorry for you but I just laughed so hard with tears streaming," wrote one person. "It was therapeutic."

    "Omg I'm dying laughing and my husband is looking at me like I'm crazy," wrote another amused commenter.

    Others weighed in with some of the destruction their own children have left behind in their home.

    "Prayers mama," wrote one woman, " ... mine ate my contacts, broke my glasses, flooded the daycare bathroom, flooded the bathroom floor, cut each other's hair, cut open a foam ball lightening McQueen pillow, found my 24 pack of glitter all opened in their closet ... yes mama ... I feel your pain!!! Hugs!" (Oof! Sounds like that mama needs a hug!)

    Although Anderson says the butt wipe incident was definitely a first for Blakely, the mom admits it wasn't "particularly 'out of character" for her daughter, who she describes as "a very witty and funny child."

    Oh yeah, and if you're wondering how she didn't get super gaggy after licking an ice cream cone that had just been on someone's butt, Anderson explains she has a pretty strong stomach at this point.

    "I am a nurse," she tells CafeMom, "so I didn't vomit because when it's your own child you are grossed out, but it isn't like if it was someone else's child."

    LOL -- yes, perhaps that would be even grosser. (Although if you ask me, both scenarios are pretty stomach-churning!)