Dad of Murdered Twins Posts Heartbreaking Father's Day Poem: 'My Name's No Longer Dad'

Steven Ford lays in bed looking at his children.
Steven Ford/Just Giving

Over the weekend, our social media feeds were all flooded with praise for dads young and old, who go above and beyond for their kids every day. Most of us even shared our own, giving thanks to the dads who raised us, and the partners who help raise our children today. But in between those stories of gratefulness and pride, you might have caught ones of deep loss and sadness. They were not just from those who lost their dads too soon, but also from fathers who were robbed of more time with their kids. Such is the case for Steven Ford, a UK father who lost his twins in December when his estranged wife drowned them in a tub. On June 14, he took to Twitter to share a heartfelt poem about his agonizing loss and how Father's Day now brings with it a rush of memories and painful emotion.

  • In the poem, Ford reflected back on the life he had before December 2018 -- when he was told the terrible news that his twins were gone forever.

    He wrote: 

    Pictures are a frozen piece of time / They take me back to when you both were mine.
    My name was different back then and for that, I’m glad / I was once known as the man you called Dad.
    Now it’s just me, alone and still grieving / My name’s no longer dad, now it’s just Steven.
    I think of you both daily / Your memory is all that can save me.
    My heart is broken but slowly mending / I’ll always feel sad, even when I’m pretending.
    Every day that passes takes me further away / But closer to that time in life when I’ll see you again.
    I miss you both so much, it hurts me so bad / I wish I could turn back time, to when I was Dad.
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  • According to the BBC, Ford's ex-wife Samantha drowned the 23-month-old twins on December 27.

    It's been reported that Samantha, who is in custody and has pleaded guilty to manslaughter, was triggered by the breakdown of her marriage. Shortly after drowning her twins, she went for a drive and intentionally caused an accident in her car, presumably in hopes of killing herself. 

    When police arrived, she told them to go to her home in Margate, where her twins would be. Once they arrived, police allegedly found the bodies of Jake and Chloe in their beds. Both appeared to have been dead for nearly a day.

    As of last month, the court has decided not to pursue a murder trial and instead is looking into Samantha's mental state at the time of the murders. In the meantime, her sentencing trial is set for July.

  • For now, Steven appears to be grappling with his grief as best he can, though the loss of his twins at times feels unbearable.

    He's been sharing parts of his journey on Twitter over the last few months, where he's admitted that even though every day is a struggle, there is still meaning to be found in life.

    "Just becuase my path is different, does not mean I am lost. #strongerthanyesterday," he wrote in one tweet.

    "My forever young baby boy," he wrote in another, along with a photo of Jack. "Beautiful soul. Always in my heart."

  • He even commemorated the twins' birthday in January, just one month after their deaths.

    "Daddy's twins are two today," Steven wrote. "Today is your birthday and will always be, a day to be thankful of our memories, a day I can celebrate all of the times we had together, a day that's yours and mine forever."

  • Sadly, the last thing Steven tweeted before his twins' untimely deaths was a touching selfie with Chloe.

    "Snuggling with my fave girl," he wrote, along with the hashtag #myworld.

    After he shared the poem on June 14, friends and followers have been reaching out with words of encouragement and condolences for the grieving dad.

    "I've just been reading about your beautiful angels and wanted to say how truly sorry I am for your loss," wrote one Twitter user. "In your poem you say you're just Steven now but you'll never be just Steven. Even though they're not able to call you it you're still their Dad and always will be."

    "You were Dad, you are Dad, you will always be Dad!!" tweeted another.

  • For now, Steven's doing his best to get by, tweeting about everything from his sleep struggles to his determination to remember the past fondly.

    The grieving dad has also set up a fundraiser to benefit cancer research, in Chloe and Jack's honor.

    "My children were everything to me," Steven shared on the page. "They were my world. I've decided to take part in this fund raising event to show that it is possible to live life after death. I made a promise to Jake and Chloe that I'll be the best man that I can be. It starts today."