Why This Mom Refused to Potty Train Her Child

Toddler coloring
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Most parents understand that every child is different, so at exactly what age they start potty training or how long it takes them to be completely accident-free just depends. The one thing that the majority of parents never consider is the idea of never potty training their kiddos at all. This was Chantel Quick, who blogs at Earth Based Mom. When people noticed her 2-year-old was fully potty-trained and out of diapers, they assumed her must be "special" or a "unicorn" child. Although her child is certainly special, he isn't magical, and Chantel is coming clean about the method to her success: she doesn't believe in having to "train" children to use a toilet at any age.

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Instead, she credits four things with her being able to accomplish this impressive task. The first thing is that she normalized using the toilet from day one. She did it with Elimination Communication, which is the idea of not depending on a diaper and instead on learning a baby's signals for when they need to “use" the bathroom. “I didn’t wait until some arbitrary time in his life to introduce the concept of a toilet and not urinating on himself,” she wrote. “I made sitting in his own poo and pee not normal from day one. I made using the toilet normal from day one.”

Toddlers playing
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Chantel explained that her baby still wore diapers but that it was mostly in public and at night. However even with a diaper on, she still made it a point to take him to the bathroom and hold him over the sink or the toilet if she thought he was about to go even as an infant. "I didn't catch every poo and pee. He went in his diaper plenty, but he learned about using the restroom from birth," she wrote. "Can we really blame children for not using the toilet when from the time they are born the only concept of using the restroom they have is going on themselves, in their diaper?"

 More from CafeMom: Why This Mom Shared a Naked Breastfeeding Selfie With Her Toddler

Toddler and mom
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The next step Chantel took was that she kept her son out of diapers as much as possible. This was important because she didn't want her boy to get used to the feeling of sitting in his own waste, even for short periods of time. "I wanted it to be felt as something that was unwanted and uncomfortable (which it was). Many people are worried about poo and pee all over their house," she wrote. "I will admit, it helps if you have hard wood floors like we did. Yes, there are accidents, but for me they were worth it because my son was completely out of diapers by the time he was 2."

Little boy in sprinkler
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The third element was that Chantel and her husband let their little one mimic them. "Right around the time children become official toddlers, they get really into doing whatever it is that you are doing. This was really helpful when it came to using the toilet," she wrote. "When my son was about 14-15 months old, I bought him his own toddler potty and put it right next to the big toilet in our bathroom. When I would go to the bathroom, he would follow me in there (because no one can pee alone when you have a toddler) and want to sit on his potty too."

More from CafeMom: Toddler's Epic Public Bathroom Play-by-Play Is Every Parent's Worst Nightmare

Toddler and mom
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Lastly, Chantel shared that she never forced, bribed, punished, or shamed her little boy when it came to using or accidentally not using the toilet. "There were times he went in his diaper and even on our floor at home," she wrote. "I never made a big deal about it or demanded he use the potty. I never shamed him or punished him either."

Although many can not fathom keeping their baby out of diapers as often as possible or testing out Elimination Communication to predict when their infant is about to have an accident, Chantel believes that it led to her lack of 'potty training.' This simplified her early days of parenthood so she encourages all moms and dads to consider it. "I also truly believe it instills self-awareness and age appropriate independence," she wrote. "So that is how I got my 2-year-old out of diapers without ever using any 'training' methods. The idea is not to train and enforce toilet use, but to simply create an environment where success is possible and conducive for confidence and self-sufficiency."

 

 

 

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