The Best Day Ever: A Toddler's Point of View

All of us know how hard we work to schedule our toddler's day perfectly. We time their outings with their lunch breaks, we know exactly how many hours they can be out in public without a nap before they have an overtired meltdown, we create routines for them so they know exactly what comes next. But let's say we threw all that out the window and let our toddlers decide how the day would go -- it may look a little something like this. 


4:13 a.m.: Wake up, throw all stuffed animals from bed onto floor 

4:17 a.m.: Remove diaper and pajamas, then pee on floor 

4:18 a.m.: Walk into parents' bedroom

4:19 a.m.: Crawl into bed with Mom 

4:20 a.m.: Spend 18 minutes sticking fingers into Mom's eyes 

4:38 a.m.: Answer "no" when Mom sleepily asks if you need to go potty 

4:39 a.m.: Sit on potty and refuse to go 

4:45 a.m.: Lead Mom by hand to kitchen 

4:46 a.m.: Remove all eggs from egg carton and drop on floor 

4:47 a.m.: Dump dog water on floor

4:48 a.m.: Wear dog bowl as hat 

4:49 a.m.: Say "no" over and over again when Mom asks if you are hungry 

4:55 a.m.: Decide you're actually hungry

4:56 a.m.: Sit in high chair and wait for Mom to scramble eggs 

4:57 a.m.: Throw sippy cup on floor 

4:58 a.m.: Wait for Mom to retrieve sippy cup 

4:49 a.m.: Throw sippy cup on floor 

5:00 a.m.: Wait for Mom to retrieve sippy cup 

5:01 a.m.: Throw sippy cup on floor 

5:02 a.m.: Start crying when Mom doesn't retrieve sippy cup 

5:03 a.m.: Point to sippy cup and continue crying 

5:04 a.m.: Wait for Mom to retrieve sippy cup

5:05 a.m.: Refuse to eat eggs

5:07 a.m.: Refuse to eat eggs 

5:09 a.m.: Rub eggs in hair 

5:10 a.m.: Throw eggs on floor for dog 

5:11 a.m.: Throw sippy cup on floor 

5:12 a.m.: Cry until released from high chair 

5:13 a.m.: Go to pantry and take out five boxes of cereal 

5:14 a.m.: Dump all cereal on floor and eat only cereal marshmallows and blue pieces 

5:15 a.m.: Walk over to television and point at it crying until Mom turns it on 

5:16 a.m.: Grab remote control and say "Mine" 

5:17 a.m.: Watch four hours of Bubble Guppies, only taking break to pee on floor 

9:17 a.m.: Refuse to put on clothes 

9:18 a.m.: Agree to put on clothes when Mom says you will go to park 

9:19 a.m.: Refuse to wear THOSE pants 

9:20 a.m.: Agree to wear different pants 

9:21 a.m.: Cry when strapped into stroller 

9:22 a.m.: Point at everything and ask "What that?" on way to park 

9:35 a.m.: Fall asleep as soon as arrive at park 

12:35 p.m.: Wake up, demand to be unlocked from stroller, toddle over to giant big-kid slide 

12:36 p.m.: Walk up three stairs on big-kid slide 

12:37 p.m.: Cry hysterically when Mom lifts you down from big-kid slide 

12:38 p.m.: Walk back over to big-kid slide 

12:39 p.m.: Repeat 

12:40 p.m.: Repeat 

12:41 p.m.: Repeat 

12:42 p.m.: Repeat 

12:43 p.m.: Repeat 

12:44 p.m.: Bury Mom's cell phone in sand 

12:45 p.m.: Unbury Mom's cell phone and stick in mouth 

12:46: p.m.: Cry 

12:47 p.m.:  Shake head repeatedly when Mom asks if tired 

12:48 p.m.: Scream and kick when Mom buckles back into stroller 

12:49 p.m.: Fall asleep on way home from park 

1:02 p.m.: Wake up and demand juice and lunch 

1:03 p.m.: Cry and point at Mom's iPad 

1:04 p.m.: Play apps for the next five hours 

6:04 p.m.: Cry when iPad runs out of juice and it's time to eat dinner 

6:05 p.m.: Pee on floor 

6:07 p.m.: Squish banana and chicken nugget together 

6:08 p.m.: Throw sippy cup on floor 

6:09 p.m.: Throw food on floor 

6:11 p.m.: Demand Goldfish crackers and ice cream

6:14 p.m.: Eat Goldfish crackers and run a fistful of ice cream in hair

6:15 p.m.: Demand to be let down from high chair

6:18 p.m.: Throw 978 bath toys in tub

6:19 p.m.: Drink three cups of dirty bathwater

6:20 p.m.: Throw bath guys outside of tub 

6:22 p.m.: Splash Mom until she screams 

6:23 p.m.: Read Goodnight Moon 856 times in a row 

6:24 p.m.: Say "Not tired" 30 times

6:38: p.m.:  Repeat 

6:47 p.m.: Make Mom kiss every stuffed animal 10 times and tuck them in 

6:48 p.m.: Repeat 

6:55 p.m.: Get out of bed and watch SpongeBob for 2 hours 

8:55 p.m.: Pee on floor 

8:57 p.m.: Get carried to bed

8:58 p.m.: Sleep 


Image via © ColorBlind Images/Blend Images/Corbis

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