21 Questions About Mom's Body Only a Kid Would Ask

kid pointing

Kids are full of weird questions ... and some of the craziest may be about you! That's right, kids are curious about your body, boobs, wrinkles, why your, erm, privates look different from theirs, and far more. In case you've ever heard some questions that made you laugh or wince, well, join the club.


To get a sense of just how wild these inquiries can get, we asked moms to share stories about the funniest questions they've been asked about their appearance. They're proof that you really never know what your kids are thinking:

  1. "My 4-year-old had to urinate badly outside while hiking, so I told him he could just go outside. He was pleasantly surprised. When he was finished, he asked, 'Mom, why don't you pee outside? Your jy-nah (vagina) is not long enough?'"
  2. "When my child was 3 she asked, 'Mama, Why do you have a moustache down there?'"
  3. "My 5-year-old daughter pointed to my stretch marks and asked why my tummy looks like a map."
  4. "My son once asked me what was on my face. I have a mole on my cheek. I told him it was a mole and he asked me if it was contagious!" 
  5. "My daughter was in the shower with me. She looked at my privates and asked about the hair. I told her it was my pubic hair. She asked if I showed it off since it is public. After cracking up, I taught her the difference between 'pubic' and 'public' and said this area was very private."

    More From The Stir: 16 Funny Word Mispronunciations By Kids

  6. "My 4-year-old son asked why I wear a bib. When I looked puzzled, he pointed to where my bras hang and said, 'Those things!' Before I could respond any further, he grabbed his nipples and said, 'That cover these!'"
  7. "The first night we were home after I'd given birth to my second son, my extended family and I were all watching a show that was sad and I started to cry. My 8-year-old son turned to me and said, 'are you crying because you already had the baby and you're still fat, or because the baby is ugly?' He thought my tummy would be flat as soon as the baby was out. My sister and brother-in-law had tears in their eyes from laughing so hard."
  8. "My 3-year-old asked, 'Mommy, may I touch your wrinkles? When I see your wrinkles, I think of softness.' I said sure. Never thought of wrinkles that way before!"
  9. "My 8-year-old daughter is fascinated by my 'jiggly butt.' She asks me how I got the Jello in there and to keep putting more in because she likes how my butt jiggles and bounces when I walk."
  10. "A week after delivering the triplets, my 3-year-old asked why my belly button looked sad."
  11. "My daughter asked me, 'Mommy, why do you have dark circles under your eyes?'"
  12. "My 4-year-old son was terrified of the shower, so I was taking one with him, trying to show him that everything was safe. And he looked at me strange and asked where my pee pee was, and before I could answer he crouched down, looked around me and asked if it was in my butt. It took me a while to catch my breath, I was laughing so hard, but I finally was able to explain the physical differences between boys and girls."
  13. "My 6-year-old daughter asked me, 'Why is your chest like big fluffy pillows?'"
  14. "My 7-year-old son loved his two younger siblings, so one day he glanced at my stomach, then got inexplicably excited. He ran over and gave me a hug then asked, 'Mommy, are we going to have another baby?' Me: 'Ugh, no son, that is just my stomach after three babies.' My son: 'Seriously? It looks like there is another baby in there. Are you sure?' Me: 'Yes, son, yes.' Sigh."

    More from The Stir: 'My Kid Said That': 15 Moms Share Funny Kid Quotes

  15. "My 2-year-old asked why I have to put my boobies in 'boobie wrap' every day. No idea where she got that word."
  16. "My 4-year-old asked why I had two big lumps on my chest and a little lump on my belly. Ugh. I explained that women have breasts and I was just overweight and that's why my belly was bigger than his."
  17. "My daughter said, 'Mommy, you're the oldest mommy in my whole class, and no one else's mommy has wrinkles around her eyes! Why did you wait until you were so old to have me?'"
  18. "When my 3-year-old son walked in on me while drying off for a shower, he asked, 'Why is one bigger than the other?' My already poor body image was dealt a fatal blow."
  19. "A couple months after I had my son, my daughter asked me why my belly was so big and squishy ... I wanted to cry, but told her to give me time, I just had a big baby in there!"
  20. "At age 3, my son asked me why I had bumps on the front of me."
  21. "I was crawling on my hands and knees, and my 3-year-old asked me why I had udders like a cow. I had a saggy belly at the time!"

What's the funniest thing your child has said about your appearance?


Image via courtyardpix/shutterstock


Read More >