The Hitting vs. The Biting Toddler: Who Wins?

biter and hitter pre-schoolI got a call from my son's pre-school today. It appears the class biter went Mike Tyson on the poor kid and he's got a bite of a mark on his ear. Yep, went straight for the ear. Nice strategy, that biting kid has, if I do say so myself. Especially since I'm guessing s/he was just dodging a punch thrown by my kid -- the hitter.

Apparently it's an all-out brawl at the nursery school, and today the round went to the biter. But I'm not worried, my little hitter will come back swinging -- literally. Is it horrible that my first reaction after hearing that a) he was okay, and b) there was no blood was "He probably deserved it"? Sorry, buddy. I love you more than life itself, but that's what happens when you go head-to-head with a biter.

In fact, I think if you did look at who has the upper hand in various pre-school match-ups between those who hit and those who use their teeth, it might look something like this:

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Face-to-Face

This match could easily go to the hitter. After all he's got his arms in front of him pushing hard. The biter won't be able to get past the fists.

Side-by-Side

The biter has the clear advantage in this situation. There will be blood. Oh, there will be blood.

Biter Behind Hitter

Unless the hitter has been trained in martial arts (note to self, train boy in martial arts), the biter has the sneak attack move. I'm guessing this is how s/he got my little guy's ear.

Hitter Behind Biter

This could go either way. The hitter could shove the biter, but the biter could spin and catch the hitter off-guard. Also, the biter could turn when hearing the whoosh of a coming fist and bite the fist. That would be kind of badass.

Naptime Position

This one really has more to do with who is the lighter sleeper. Duh.

Cage Match

This is where the biter could really shine. One good chunk out of a body part and the hitter is going down ... and has nowhere to go.

So basically if you're going to have a kid who acts out physically, hope for a biter. They clearly can kick serious butt, and ear.

Do you have a biter or a hitter?


Image via Taken By Storm Photography

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