The 5 Types of Toddlers You'll Meet at Pre-School

The Boss
It's pre-school time for my little dude, so that means I'm spending a lot of time in his classroom with the tiny chairs. There's this thing called "transition" at his school, where the parents hang out with the kids and slowly peel off as it seems they can handle things on their own. Some kids take a few days; others a few weeks. I'm crossing my fingers that I'm in the "few days" crowd, but in the meantime, I'm hanging out with a bunch of shorties.

So in between crying a little bit at how big he is, and wincing a lot as he gets up in other kids' faces, I took some time to check out the other kids. Turns out, kids are different! I know, it's revolutionary. But even so, you can quickly identify five different types of toddlers in the following ways.



1. The Boss

You know the kid who tells everyone what toys they can play with, where they should sit, what songs they should sing? Yes, that's mine. I know he's destined to be a contestant on The Apprentice, and I'm really, really sorry he just told your daughter to sit down and write her standards. But I'm pretty sure that other boss in the class is going to be incredibly helpful in teaching that kid some humility and cooperation. That's why we're paying for pre-school, right?

2. The Clinger

The clingers can be easily identified as the ones who have an adult attached to their clenched fists. They're usually pretty cute, and you kind of wish your own kid had a little bit of that insecurity in her as well. Because, hey, it's nice to feel wanted. While these sensitive souls may be your best bet for Mother's Day cards every single year, you're going to deserve them since you'll spend more time in that classroom than you did in the maternity ward.

3. The Crier

There's always one sobbing kid in the pre-school and usually many, many more. After all, it's their little way of communicating. You know what they're saying? "You're a bad mommy for leaving me here while you go work/do yoga/cry in the car." You can easily identify the other criers in the room, because they'll be set off like dogs hearing a car alarm once the first crier gets going.

4. The Tattle-Tale

Also known as the teacher's pet, this is the kid who will announce it when your kid grabs the snub-nosed scissors out of his hand. Or anyone else's. Really, he's just there to police the joint and work his way up to Hall Monitor. The Boss will learn to avoid his perimeter if he knows what's good for him.

5. The Perfect Angel

This your kid, right? It's totally mine, and you truly believe it's yours as well. The only kid in the class who is paying attention, singing at the right time, listening when the teacher talks, and doing more than her fair share of clean-up. Most likely, this is the best-looking child in the entire group as well. At least according to you (and me) -- her parent.

Which kid do you have?

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