My Daughter's First Day of School Worries Me More Than Training Bras

classroomAs I’ve continued to meander through the wonderful world of parenthood, I feel like I’ve tackled each obstacle with tremendous aplomb. There was the great Crawl-Towards-Paradise Fiasco of 2009 where my daughter took a shot at the open door. Then there was the day when I got the daddy, I have on panties surprise.

That one hurt.


Thing is, while there have been some shocks and things I wasn’t ready for, nothing has ever had me scared. Until now.


I'm scared over the fact that one day she will need a training bra and the current battle: the search for a pre-school and what that means for the future. Of course this is all based on how other parents are treating the expedition.

Now, my memory of age 3 is a little shoddy. I remember a race track and being frightened of the blow-up Easter Bunny. Pretty sure I likened my parents to fascists for that one, though at that age, I’m sure I just called them mean people and threatened to call grandma. Point is, I’m fairly sure my parents just dropped me off at daycare and called it a day. But not in DC, buddy. It’s like parents are preparing their children for superstardom from day one. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but I kind of suck at keeping up with the Joneses.


In fact, who the hell are the Joneses anyway, and why are they ruining my life?


I was just interested in knowing the good schools. But the message boards and conversations parents seem to be having about their child’s 3-year-old education is nothing short of befuddling. I know my kid is smart but she’s seriously content to play “kitchen.” Her daycare is wonderful now and she can count to 20 in Spanish and Russian and has memorized some books.


Some of the parents are concerned about their toddler’s ability to discuss Newton’s Second Law of Physics. Good googly moogly. That scares me. I’m not ready to get in line at some school and fight a soccer mom for a slot at one of the city’s three or four decent elementary schools or try to schmooze my way into a school.


Plus, if one of us has to go to jail, I’m guessing it’s going to be me. What? I’ve got unpaid parking tickets. I get it, your child’s education is one of the most vital parts of ensuring their life success chances, but I have to wonder if some of us parents get too caught up in our perception of success too quickly.


I mean my kid really likes playing with bubbles. And I’m sure she’s going to be alright. Maybe I’ll just tuck a copy of Quantum Physics, the paperback edition, in her bookbag and call it a day.


What about you? Has the pre-school and beyond search been as stressful for you?



Image via lori05871//Flickr

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