I Never Thought I'd Tell My Toddler to Stop Biting the Dog

talking to your toddler
Mommy says crazy things!
There's a reason kids say the darndest things. It's because they've been listening to their parents. Over at 18 Years to Life, they're hosting a link-up where all moms can blog about the things they honestly can't believe they've said to their kids. I'm playing!

I will certainly cop to throwing out a, "I said so, that's why," immediately following a, "Mommy knows EVERYTHING!" conversation. I also admit to stealing a Betty Draper and -- in a moment of pure frustration -- when my child, who has a ton of toys, books, and a baby brother, announced she was bored. I did it. I said, "Only boring people are bored."

But really the things that have shocked me go much further than the ones I simply stole from my own mother. Including the following (three of which I actually said today):


Do you want to go poop with your sister?

Stop touching yourself in the car.

No zerberts until you put on a diaper.

Your uncle doesn't believe in God.

Yes, I do love rock and roll. For the 500th time! Stop asking.

Take your finger out of your butt and eat.

You have to finish your French fries before you get any more fruit.

I let Santa in through the front door, but made the reindeer stay outside.

Did you see that cat eat that gopher?!?! Look!!!

Your boobies might get as big as mine, or they might stay small. Like Grandma's.

What's the craziest thing you've caught yourself saying to your child?

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