POSTS WITH TAG: working moms

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    Confession: I'm a sucker for a good fundraiser. Spin me a sob story, and I'm all, "Who gets the check?" But even a soft touch like me has no truck with the latest fundraising trend: parents trying to get good-hearted folks to donate money ... so they can stay home with their kids.

    Sounds too crazy to be true? Oh, it's true all right. In fact dad blogger Adam Dolgin currently has a GoFundMe fundraiser online, begging people to cough up $50,000 so he can become a stay-at-home dad to his two kids.

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    Former Teen Mom star (and resident delinquent) Jenelle Evans has made it clear that she is back on the straight-and-narrow. I'll admit I was skeptical at first, but it looks like she has no intention of falling off the wagon any time soon. Since as early as this summer, she seemed intent on finding stability in her private life and rebuilding her relationship with her toddler Jace. With the exception of the odd Twitter-feud, it looks like she's made real progress. She's still with boyfriend Nathan Griffith, and she's still -- as far as we know -- abstaining from the use of cigarettes, booze, and drugs.

    Now when she tweets, she's not throwing shade, she's sharing her more domestic side -- and it's so sweet that I might need a shot of insulin to cope. A recent tweet she shared about cooking breakfast was remarkable only for its everyday qualities. We're so used to a Jenelle who only ever raised hell that the idea of a Jenelle who fries eggs is pretty shocking.

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    10 Reasons I Can't Be That Perfect Mom

    posted by Jenny Isenman September 20, 2013 at 9:05 PM in Big Kid
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    I recently wrote about the 10 moms no one wants to get stuck talking to. Yes, there are many of "Those Moms," but I'm speaking of one we all know, the "perfect mom." She's president of the PTA, she plans all the fundraisers.  She bakes homemade goodies for bake sales. She has a position on every board. She recommends who should be room mom to all the teachers and you can pretty much call her for any bit of information. I like to joke that if you need anything changed, explained or rerouted you could call her and it would get done with meticulous speed and accuracy.

    "Can you do something about the traffic on 95?" "How many reformers will they have at the new Pilates studio?" "Will I have to take a connecting flight on my trip to Utah?"

    I also like to imagine that she walks around with a Tide Stain Stick, righting the wrongs of the slovenly.

    As much as I would like to be involved in every facet of my child's life, I could never ever be that chick and here's why:

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    Megasuccessful Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling has often been the face of single motherhood gone right. She famously began writing the Potter series while single-handedly taking care of her young daughter and surviving off government benefits. Her rags-to-riches story is famous. But you'd think now that she's a gazillionaire who not only is legendary for Harry Potter but continues to write other successful novels, and is also remarried, that she'd kind of slink away from the whole "single mom" thing and hope everyone forgets about it. Au contraire! Rowling still talks about her single mom days every chance she gets. In fact, Rowling says that she is "prouder of my years as a single mother than of any other part of [her] life." And, to that end, J.K. Rowling is going to keep sticking up for single moms.

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    Shortly after relocating to Charleston last year, Benjamin and Hope Jordan searched high and low for a reliable babysitter for their then 7-month-old son Finn. Like many parents, they were probably filled with an anxiety that ceased slightly when the background check for their potential sitter, 22-year-old Alexis Khan, came out clean as a whistle. 

    But Khan wasn't fooling their family dog.

    "About five months into her being our babysitter, we started to notice that our dog was very defensive of our son when she would come in the door," said Benjamin Jordan. "He was very aggressive towards her and a few times we actually had to physically restrain our dog from going towards her." 

    Suspicious, the Jordan's placed an iPhone under their couch to record the sitter with Finn while they were at work. What they heard later that day devastated them. 

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    I have a friend who's on the fence about having a second child. She had her daughter three years ago, and she says now that things are finally getting -- well, as any parent knows, easy isn't quite the right word, but ... less consuming, let's say -- it's hard to imagine doing it all over again with another baby. I know how she feels, because that's exactly how I felt when my first son was a toddler and my husband and I were considering the timing of a second. It was, and I say this with all the love in the world, like contemplating parachuting back into a war zone for a second tour of duty.

    We chose to forge ahead, and I am so incredibly glad we did. Our boys are close in age and they're the best of friends (when they're not fighting to the death over a toy, that is). But of all the major changes a second child brought to our lives, I could never have anticipated how my life as a working mom would be affected.

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    I've been a work-at-home-mom for seven years, but it wasn't until pretty recently that I had regular childcare. For the most part, I fit in my work during nap-time and late into the evening, which seemed like a really convenient situation, but in actuality, was not ideal at all. 

    Whether you're thinking about working from home or you're doing it already, heed my advice: Get childcare. Here's why I think it's so important.

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    Hey working moms, would you like to hear something that'll make you feel a little bit less guilty? I have something for you! A new study shows (don't you love it when that phrase, "a new study shows" leads to good news?) that day care may reduce the risk of emotional problems -- that is, for kids who are at risk for having emotional problems.

    Yeah, that's a pretty big caveat. The researchers focused on the children of moms suffering symptoms of depression -- that depression is what puts kids at risk for emotional problems. (I think we all know that's a whole lotta moms.) And surprise, surprise, those kids are better off hanging out with other children in daycare than hanging out with mom. They showed less separation anxiety, social withdrawal, and fewer emotional problems in general.

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    I begin this column with a heavy sigh. And then a kick in the butt, because it’s time to man up. After 10 months of unemployment, I’m returning to the workforce. I’m excited about my new career, but like millions of moms and dads everywhere, I miss my son already.

    As I prepare to re-enter the race of rats, I think of the things I will miss most about him.

    Spontaneous visits. My “office” consists of a blocked-off yet wall-less part of the living room. (He and I are looking at it in the photo to the left!) My son is usually on the other side of the living room. When he wants to visit me, and that can be 10 times an hour, he simply walks around the barrier. I may be deep in thought crafting Hemingway-like prose, but am always happy for his drop-bys, which will now require a subway pass and knowledge of New York City geography that he just doesn’t possess.

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    Here's the progression of pretty much every Take Your Child to Work Day:

    1. Wake up brimming with excitement to see the magical things you or your spouse does.

    2. Watch the magic happen for like 10 minutes, when they realize your job is boring as shit and they vow to NEVER grow up -- and if they must, they will do something exciting like race cars or be famous. (*If you're already famous, they'll think your job sucks too and vow to be something totally amazing like the check-out person at the grocery store who gets to swipe things over the cool scanner.)

    3. Spin in your office chair for 30-60 minutes because that's awesome and clearly the real magic of your job. They will then question why you don't spend more time spinning and make a mental note that you'd probably do better in your job if you spun more.

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