POSTS WITH TAG: toddler development

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    I realize that three-year-olds aren't supposed to develop unified field theories. Still, judging by some of the things my daughter believes, she's one light bulb short of a box.

    My wife thinks these beliefs are not only normal, but adorable and that I need to STFU. She's probably right. Still, I'm no longer banking on that college scholarship.

    Here are 10 signs my daughter isn't a child genius.

     

     

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    I'm raising my three-year-old oblivious to all current music... while I still can.I long ago lost the battle for TV influence to her daycare classmates, who sucked her into "Elmo" and now "Doc McStuffins" and will probably teach her to smoke soon.

    But in the car, my iTunes library is all the music that exists. And most of the selections I play from it were recorded 15 of her lifetimes ago.

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    In the blink of an eye, your baby went from helpless newborn to boisterous toddler. And you know what that means: Time for preschool.

    Maybe.

    While some moms are quick to strap a backpack onto their 2-year-old and send them on their merry way, others agonize over whether their toddler is ready for preschool.

    Relax.

    The decision of whether to send your little one off to the land of gluing, cutting, and snack time doesn't have to be fraught with anxiety. In fact, your child may be more ready for preschool ... than you are.

    This list of dos and don'ts can help you decide if it's time for preschool.

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    You always hear that kids are doing it younger and younger these days. But nothing prepares you for that moment when your 3-year-old daughter announces that she has a boyfriend.

    Skylar and Ike have known each other since infancy, when they shared a nanny, diapers, Goldfish crackers, and, apparently, a slowly building set of feelings for one another.

    Skylar now says that she loves Ike. And I need to respect her feelings or risk causing a Romeo and Juliet situation.

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    You don't deal with terrorists without years of CIA field training. Unless you're the parent of a toddler, in which case, you stroll into a Homeland situation completely unprepared and hope for the best. Here are some of the most important lessons I've learned from negotiating with my little Abu Booboo.

    * Never negotiate with terrorists. Period. Like Saul Berenson from Homeland, only let them think you're negotiating.

    * Agree to whatever they want, then secretly plot your way out of it. You can also say "no" and listen to them cry for three hours. But this is equally effective and much quieter. (Example: "You can sleep with us tonight. We'll pick you up from your bedroom later." Later, of course, they'll be asleep.)

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    Do you want to hear a secret? I get angry and upset and cry sometimes. Okay, a lot of times. Okay, pretty much every day. But I have really good reasons for throwing temper tantrums -- I swear!

    How else am I supposed to act when Mommy does something for me that I wanted to do ALL BY MYSELF? Or when Daddy turns off my favorite show before I'm finished watching? Or when I can't get one of my toys to work right? Or when I want a "loll-pop" RIGHT NOW and Mommy says no because we don't have any?

    As I like to say, "Are you kidding me?"

    Mommy and Daddy might not agree, but I think there are plenty of times it's okay for me to have a meltdown because of something THEY'VE done wrong. Do you want to know what they are?

    Here are 12 reasons toddlers' tantrums might be all your fault ...

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    An actual, real, totally legitimate professional Belgian soccer club has signed a 20-month-old boy named Bryce Brites to its team. No, they didn't sign a 20-year-old. You actually read that right -- they signed a toddler! According to the FC Racing Boxberg's club secretary, Bryce has incredible control of the ball for someone his age and kicks in a way that surpasses the skills of a 5-year-old child. I'll admit: the tot definitely has some fancy foot moves, as we can see from video shot of him on the field. But I'm also comparing him to other kids his age, most of whom would probably lose interest in the ball after five minutes and sit down to play with the grass.

    Weirdly, Bryce isn't even the youngest child to be signed by a pro team. Baerke van der Meij, who was 18 months old at the time he got the nod from a Dutch soccer association, gets that honor. This all begs the question: even if we spot talent in our very young children, is it healthy to push them so soon?

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    There's a running joke in my house that if you're standing in the rain with our daughter, she will still find some way to convince you that it's really not raining and you're not really getting wet. Somehow I have given birth to a world class arguer, but I'm not alone! A video that's going viral of a young little debater putting up a convincing argument to his mom that they should eat cupcakes for dinner has me in stitches because, finally, I have proof my kid isn't the only one who will argue about anything.

    Of course, the fact that Linda Beltran's 3-year-old -- who sounds like a little old man as he tells her, "Listen, Linda!" -- is cute as a button makes the video all the more hilarious. Just take a listen:

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    Sure, toddlers can be perplexing at times (how could they suddenly hate string cheese when they were in love with it yesterday?!), but they're actually quite wise beyond their years. Don't let the pooping and drooling fool you.

    I was staring at my daughter the other day while she was meticulously placing bits of cereal into Hello Kitty's mouth, blissfully unaware that I was looking at her, and it dawned on me: Toddlers have it all figured out. Sure, we grownups are in charge, but actually we're the ones who should be listening to them. Well, when it comes to certain things. I don't advise anyone to eat a spoonful of dirt.

    Here are 5 life lessons we can all learn from our toddlers.

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    I've written many tales about some of the weird stuff I've said to my kids over the years, from "Please stop smelling the cat" to "We keep our pants on in public" to "Gum you find under tables is not 'free' gum." As strange as those phrases are, they never even fazed me when I said them. In fact, they made perfect sense at the time.

    I remember having to constantly ask my daughter, Ry, to stop licking me. Until then, that request had been reserved for our puppy. Looking back, it appears there are quite a few similarities between toddlers and puppies, odd phrases included.

    Either I've just crossed that fine line into insanity or this comparison is kinda brilliant, you be the judge. Here are 28 ways puppies and toddlers are similar:

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