The devastating news that Hostess is going out of business has been hitting consumers hard. Well, it's been hitting some consumers harder than others. Some adults responded by buying up all the Twinkies and selling them on eBay. And other people are just crying. Like little Lucas here, a three-year-old who can't bear the idea that his beloved chocolate chip muffins may soon disappear. Time for a HOSTESS MELTDOWWWNNN!

For the most part, I don't miss my pre-kids life at all, except for one thing: the morning routine. I could get up, nod at my husband in a friendly manner (we're not morning people), have an entire cup of coffee while it was still hot, and still be at work on time.

Not so much these days....it is a mad dash from the time my eyes open until the youngest is packed off to preschool.

I need help! Fortunately for me (and you), here it is:

Imagine a world where you could never let your kid get hungry, tired, or even upset. Where, in short, you had to keep your kid happy and smiling at all times. This is the hell that Natalie and Paul Fenton, a couple in the U.K., entered into when their daughter, Ava, was born with a rare condition that made her heart and breathing stop whenever she was stressed or had any "strong emotion." If you think it's difficult enough to control your kid from having crying jags or temper tantrums -- imagine the extra pressure Natalie and Paul had. Oddly, though, it seems to have worked out for the best.

Last week 47-year-old father Spencer Russell was in court for stealing some expensive designer handbags from a home his wife was paid to look after while the owners were away. When the owner noticed the missing items, he blamed it on his 2-year-old daughter.

He said the toddler liked to play dress-up, and she'd snatched them. Um, yeah right. He later admitted he took them, and though the judge didn't give him any jail time, he did call him out for his pathetic excuse.

So yes, blaming criminal activity on your tike is pretty lame, but  there are plenty of things you can blame on toddlers and get away with quite brilliantly. Toddlers are actually quite convenient patsies for a host of misdemeanors moms make. Here are seven things you can definitely blame on your toddler even when they're not exactly guilty:

Anythying goes wrong in 3-year-old Rozalynn Cevetto's, world and all hell breaks loose. If she is hungry, tired, hurt or just not getting her way, she holds her breath. Hmmm, this sounds familiar.

Little Rozalynn was only 14 months old when she began this obstinate behavior. Her mom was completely freaked out the first time it happened, her eyes rolled back in her head, her lips turned blue, and she passed out but quickly started breathing again. Oh, did I forget to mention that her mom was a breath holder when she was a toddler, as was her father. Seems it’s hereditary. 

The mere word "toddler" often causes grown men and women to cower ... and for good reason. When it comes to raising children, the toddler years bring more parents to their knees than any other, both figuratively and literally.

Starting around 18 months and ending somewhere around the end of the fourth year, it's a period of time that's filled with unbelievably adorable highs (their cute little voices spout out the most adorable things!), but also some of the lowest lows you can ever imagine sinking to as a parent (e.g., wanting to lie down and throw a tantrum alongside your screaming toddler-turned-demon-child in the aisle of Target because it seems like the only thing to do).

After (almost) seeing two kids through this period of time, I'm starting to find my sanity again and see a pattern in the madness. It seems there are five stages most toddlers cycle through. They go something like this:

Man, that screaming kids do, it sure is annoying. Kind of stands your hair on end, doesn't it? If only you could harness the energy and intensity of a child's tantrum and put it to some practical use -- you could light up all of Cincinnati.

Or you could start a rock band like these kids did. I'm thinking ... death metal? Black Flag, it's over. Here comes Murp singing "Zombie Skin," and they RAWK. Without the guitars and drums, you'd think this little girl was refusing to go to bed on time. Sing it, sister!

In my next life, I'm pretty sure I want to come back as a kid in Beverly Hills. Because if the new reality show Beverly Hills Nannies is any indication, those tots have it pretty dang good. Just take 4-year-old Brooklyn Faulk. The little darling gave her new nanny Justin quite a first day on the job when she pitched herself a big old hissy fit over something the average 4-year-old doesn't even know exists: A facial. As in, she wanted a facial. Immediately.

You know the way most toddlers kick and scream about watching one more episode of Dora the Explorer before bed or not wanting to leave the playground or having ice cream for dinner? Well, that's the level of tantrum this kid threw over getting a relaxing spa treatment.

Now, don't get me wrong ...