POSTS WITH TAG: tantrums

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    Back when I was a brand new mom, or heck, even before I had kids, I was pretty judgy of other moms. I admit, it's easy to see someone loading their children up on candy or strapping them into a kid leash and say to yourself, "I'd never do that."

    Granted, there are some things that I will never, ever not judge; Coca Cola in a baby bottle will make me cringe every single time.

    But overall, I've realized that parenting context is everything, which is why I bite my tongue way more than I ever did before.

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    In the ongoing debates over the best parenting strategies, spanking always manages to come up. And moms on both sides of the issue never fail to get super-heated. Research has intervened to give their say this week. For a new study, published in the Journal of Family Psychology, researchers analyzed real-time audio recordings of parents interacting with their children and concluded not only that parents are spanking for "trivial misdeeds," but 73 percent of the time, kids end up misbehaving again within 10 minutes. Wow.

    That said, if spanking is SO ineffective, it hardly seems like it pays for even its biggest proponent to do it! Really, the findings only serve to echo what opponents of spanking say: It's a bogus, unnecessary way to discipline.

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    An idea occurred to me after noticing how well the crate we bought to train our new puppy would also fit our 3-year-old daughter.

    We initially raised Skylar free-range, and she flourished for a long time that way. A couple of months ago, however, we started noticing signs that she couldn't handle it. Immediately after turning 3, for example, she announced that she now has a boyfriend and there's nothing we can do to stop them from napping together.

    Raising Skylar like a veal will not only nip this in the bud but also provide the following benefits:

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    Do you want to hear a secret? I get angry and upset and cry sometimes. Okay, a lot of times. Okay, pretty much every day. But I have really good reasons for throwing temper tantrums -- I swear!

    How else am I supposed to act when Mommy does something for me that I wanted to do ALL BY MYSELF? Or when Daddy turns off my favorite show before I'm finished watching? Or when I can't get one of my toys to work right? Or when I want a "loll-pop" RIGHT NOW and Mommy says no because we don't have any?

    As I like to say, "Are you kidding me?"

    Mommy and Daddy might not agree, but I think there are plenty of times it's okay for me to have a meltdown because of something THEY'VE done wrong. Do you want to know what they are?

    Here are 12 reasons toddlers' tantrums might be all your fault ...

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    Toddlers could be -- actually, scratch that -- they are the greatest humans on the planet. But man, they're freakin' crazy. One minute, they're happy as a clam, the next, they want to rip your head off because you won't let them use a Chinese Throwing Star as a hair brush.

    I'm not a fan of laughing at a toddler when they're mid-tantrum because, as silly as we think they're being, it's kinda shaming their feelings a bit. But I will admit, the reasons some kids have tantrums are downright hilarious, and sometimes, when it's not frustrating, it's really (really) hard not to laugh at these adorable little hurricanes.

    Here are 25 (funny) reasons toddlers have tantrums.

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    Having kids is great, and totally worth it and all that jazz, but let’s face the facts -- things change when you become a parent. For the most part, things start out relatively simply. You have a baby, and your goal is to not kill it. Feed it, burp it, clean it, hold it, love it.

    Then you have a toddler, and your goal shifts to trying to keep them from killing you. They’re not called the terrible twos for nothing, you know. Toddlers are busy and curious and tantrumy and did I mention busy? There are certain little life pleasures that will just have to be on hold if you’re in the midst of the toddler years.

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    Have you ever found yourself feeling defeated, frustrated, and at your wits' end when your toddler is in the midst of an epic temper tantrum? What am I saying? Of course you've been there. We all have. But I have some good news for you -- you're not doing anything wrong even though your little one is screaming at the top of his lungs.

    According to researchers at the University of Montreal, toddler tantrums are a result of genetics ... not poor parenting. (Winning.) Yep. And that would explain why some parents wind up with one kid who throws fits and another who is much more calm.

    Sure, environmental factors play a part too -- but researchers indicated that a child's genetic make-up played a "substantial" part in their level of physical aggression.

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    Toddlers are tough nuts to crack sometimes. They’re mobile. They are learning to communicate but frequently frustrated at their difficulty in doing it effectively. Also they think they don’t need naps, but they really do. And by them needing naps, I of course mean their parents need naps.

    But there is an upside. If you survive toddlerhood, you’ll be prepared for just about anything.

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    Like any two-year-old, Skylar is often not thrilled with my decisions. But when they involve a location she would rather be, I have a toddler-proof weapon at my disposal. I remind her of what is always a worse option: abandonment. I can’t fathom the desire to be around me for any length of time, much less always. But if my daughter wants to spend a second hour trying on Doc McStuffins accessories in the Disney Store, I just bluff about being off to the food court. This instantly transforms her from a pretend doctor to a real-life mental patient. (Incidentally, have you taken a careful gander at Doc McStuffins' face? Is it just me or is it more than a little possible that she became a doctor because she has fetal alcohol syndrome?)

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    I don't consider myself a "helicopter parent," but if you were to ask my parents what they thought of my mommy-ing, they'd probably say I have too many silly rules about cookies and napping. And the one thing they'd complain about that's bugging them lately: she needs to let that child stay up later, especially on Christmas Eve. Let me explain. My folks, who like to maintain fairly traditional Italian holiday customs, enjoy hosting Christmas Eve at their home. They fry enough fish to feed 20 people and get a kick out of decorating every inch of their house. We don't sit down to eat until 8 or 8:30 and, if they had their way, we'd attend midnight mass and go back to their home for even more dessert. As much as I love my parents, their way of doing things on Xmas isn't exactly compatible with having a 2-year-old. And I can't help but wonder: is there a point where new parents should start taking over the holidays?

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