Toddler Potty Training

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    Three options exist for me when my daughter needs changing, the car is too far, and there is no family bathroom. They include: (1) walking her by a bank of dangling adult penises, only to discover there's no changing table anyway; (2) risking arrest by entering a women's room myself; or (3) assigning a stranger to escort her inside, based on the theory that having female body parts makes one entirely trustworthy.

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    OMG. Out of all the challenges we go through as parents, potty training our kids has to be one of the toughest for sure. As much as we can't wait to finally kick the diapers to the curb -- let's just say our patience starts wearing a little thin when we have one failed attempt after another.

    Cleaning up pee gets pretty old after you've done it 20 times in one day. (And let's not even mention when they have an accident with number two.)

    But then when the day finally arrives when our kiddos finally get it -- we want to shout the fact that they're toilet trained from the rooftops (or Facebook).

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  • Mom Moment

    10 Wacky Potty Training Problems

    posted by Michele Zipp November 10, 2013 at 11:10 AM in Toddler
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    Oh the emotions that go into potty training! There is elation and set-backs -- celebration, maybe even some rewards, and frustration. For both child and mom and dad. But the greatest reward is not having to change another diaper or having to buy them. Sure, we may still be wiping butts, but as we all know a poop in the potty is neater than a poop in the pants or diaper. Over it! I cannot wait for the day I'm finally free.

    Until then, we all deal with these wacky potty training problems.

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    Potty training. It's a blessing and a curse for sure. On the one hand, it's all sorts of awesome once it's over with -- because diapers are basically hell on earth.

    But the actual process of toilet training your kid, however, can sometimes be enough stress to make you want to keep him in diapers for the rest of his life.

    I know that's how I felt during my first attempt with my son, when he was around 2-and-a-half years old. I swear I tried every method under the sun -- and he just wasn't getting it. And so I did what most frustrated parents of a toddler who won't pee on the potty do. I threw in the towel, assuming that it probably wasn't the right time and that he'd "learn eventually."

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    It's gross but true: Parents spend a lot of time talking about poo. Thinking about poo. Dealing with poo. The only people who obsess over poo more are just-potty-trained kids. Maybe. It's close. Anyway, if you enjoy a good bathroom joke, you will love this video of a 3 1/2-year-old talking to himself while on the potty. His mom helpfully provided subtitles so you can understand what he's saying through his toddler accent. You really need to hear/read this tear-inducing soliloquy on poo.

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  • Mom Moment

    I Let My Kids Pee in Public

    posted by Michele Zipp October 4, 2013 at 9:00 AM in Toddler
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    You think you have a good grasp on potty training until you leave the house and your kid has to pee. Some kids just can't hold their pee. Or maybe they have been holding it for so long and the urge to pee strikes just when you are far enough away from any kind of potty. Even when you've asked 74 times if anyone has to pee before you leave the house. I have twins who are not quite yet 4 and my daughter is just about all set with the potty training. My son, however, not so much. He's getting it (and getting it all over the place).

    So I do what any mom in my position would do. (Though I feel like I'm the only one sometimes.) I let my kid pee in public. Behind a bush. Next to a tree. In the dirt, all tidy like as best as can be. I figure dogs can do it, why can't kids? I know we're not animals, but when you're a kid and you have to go, you have to go.

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    Celebrities are seemingly perfect with not a hair out of place and clothes (and faces) that are never wrinkled. Even the celebrity moms. Like Sandra Bullock. Who I love, but now envy because her 3-year-old son Louis is potty-trained -- fully potty-trained that is. No pee accidents, no streams of golden yellow flowing down the leg, no soaking wet bed sheets, and no poopy underwear to clean.

    I can't help but look at my almost 4-year-old who isn't fully potty trained and think, Why, son, why?

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  • Mom Moment

    Swim Diapers or No Swim Diapers?

    posted by Sarah Bernard July 26, 2013 at 3:37 PM in Toddler
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    When my twin daughters were 4 months old, a friend gave us these amazing one-piece bathing suits covered in hot pink sparkles.

    I couldn't wait to get the girls in them. They looked awesome with the sparkles highlighting their little bellies.

    Then I remembered ... swim diapers!

    I couldn't exactly put infants in warm pool water without them. Clearly, they could not be trusted to not pee. But when I slipped the suits on them again and the high-cut sides revealed Nemo-covered diaper instead of chubby legs, well, the look was not the same.

    Honestly, I don't think we ever wore them. Swim diapers and sun screen were hassle enough. Not long after, we visited a friend's pool and I was surprised to see they kept it even more minimal.

    Their kids' swimsuit repertoire? Nothing at all.

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    Parents, there's a little-known threat to your children we need to discuss. It's almost too horrible to mention, but -- did you know toilet seats are attacking little boys' penises at an increasing rate? Maybe I could have phrased that better. A new study shows that injuries caused by toilet seats falling down on boys' penises are on the rise. This happens to adult men, too, but mostly it's happening to little guys who have just learned how to pee standing up. And it's sending some of them to the emergency room.

    As the mother of a little guy, OUCH. This concerns me. Maybe seat safety should become part of toilet training for boys?

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    What do toddlers do while they're sitting on the potty? Well I'm glad you asked. Many things, as it turns out. Sure, there's the difficult, serious work at hand. But that takes time. What to do while you're waiting for Godot? Let these little people demonstrate the options. In a totally tasteful way, of course!

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