Toddlerhood, the age that defines the parenting warriors from the flakes, the battle-axes from the push-overs. If babyhood is all about mere survival, the toddler years are when you decide what kind of a parent you're going to be. Even if you don't pick a specific parenting philosophy -- say, tall half-disciplinarian half-attachment-parenting with soy whipped cream -- you're still being forced to make decisions about how you will teach your kid to be a decent human being.

For a lot of parents -- and parenting experts -- raising a decent human being looks a lot like raising an obedient person. BUT -- we also want our kids to be compassionate and independent thinkers. An article in The Guardian asks, Since when did obedience become the epitome of good parenting? I think that's an idea worth picking apart.

Help, I'm drowning in "sh*t people say" videos! The meme has taken off like crazy and every day I see more -- and they're all hilarious. I'm not getting any work done! And yet, there is one "sh*t people say" video that I've been waiting for and have yet to see: That's right, sh*t toddlers say.

THAT would be the ultimate follow-up video. When is someone going to make it? Can you imagine the cute? I die! Okay, I don't die yet because that video doesn't exist. But any day now... In the meantime, I present to you the blog: Sh*t My Toddler Says. 

I had one of those toddlers who hates putting on a coat. Actually, I think they all come that way. I remember reading in one of my child-rearing books that when my son said "no" to the coat I should calmly wrestle him down and put the coat on him: That means "yes." Obviously I was strong enough to pull that off -- well, just barely. But I went a totally different way. I let him walk out coatless.

Keep in mind it doesn't get dangerously cold where I live. We hover around the 30s and 40s for most of the winter. But for me, letting my son take minor physical risks like this and learn from experience has been more important than teaching him unconditional obedience, especially when he was a toddler.

Once toddlers get the hang of talking, they certainly like to chat up a storm and these two little guys are no different. But because one of them is deaf and the other is a little hard of hearing, they communicate with each other -- and their parents -- through sign language (ASL).

Their parents (dad is deaf too) say the boys had no language skills when they adopted the boys just six months ago -- and now look at them go.

You can't shut these two up!

Know what's super-fun this time of year? Dragging your toddler outdoors to play. I'm kidding, of course. Actually, it's a total pain. Not only do you have all the extra winter gear, but it's COLD outside, and who wants to hang out at the playground in 30-degree weather? It can get pretty hard to motivate yourself to get out. But I did it anyway because otherwise my kid would explode.

But what about the rest of the year? A survey of daycare staff in Ohio shows that toddlers are too inactive. I know older kids are turning into couch potatoes (hello, got one of my own at home), but toddlers? I thought the little human rocket ships couldn't sit still!  Yet according to the daycare workers, parents are pushing early classroom learning so much that toddlers aren't getting the physical activity they need.

This week on America's Supernanny, childcare guru Deborah Tillman came across the most foul-mouthed little kid she's ever seen. Poor little Armani (NOT pictured here), just 4 years old and already cussin' like a pirate. "Hey listen, you #$%@-head! &*$# face!" Poor mom! Where did he pick up such language? From his daddy, Bill. 

Bill fessed up: "The only person on earth he would've gotten that from is his dad. I knew that was my mistake ... that's what got me, he was sounding like me. But I know I'm gonna stop." Good for you, Bill, taking responsibility for poor modeling. But the time to really stop swearing is way before your kid turns 4!

I just read another one of those funny-but-painful stories about toddler destruction. Meredith Franco Meyers tells about the time she let her 2-year-old play with her iPhone so she could have a few seconds to herself to brush her teeth. Guess what happened next? Yup. "It got quiet in the bathroom. And then ... Plop. Splash. 'Mommy, oh no! Wow!'" The iPhone took a dive into the toilet. 

Did Meredith deserve to lose her iPhone for letting her daughter play with it? And do toddlers have any business playing with electronics like smartphones in the first place? I think the answer to that second question depends a lot on what kind of smartphone user YOU are. 

Lord have mercy, have you seen this playroom? This week on Lifetime's America's Supernanny, Deborah got a tour of the Dentons' basement playroom -- and it's a horror show! Toys everywhere are just the beginning. There were also dirty clothes, fleas, and oh yeah, the dog "poops and pees" over there in that corner. YEECH!

Now my son is no stranger to messy rooms. Especially during the toddler years, some days it seemed like we were drowning in blocks, toy animals, and dozens of tiny, random, plastic whatsits. At least we never got to the point of hosting fleas and fecal matter! But is your toddler's messy room saying something deeper about your parenting?