Does it seem like Suri Cruise gets carried by her parents an awful lot even though she's almost 6 years old now? HuffPo just called out TomKat for their child-wearing ways: "Suri, it's time to retire your clinging-like-an-adorable-koala-bear act with mom Katie Holmes and dad Tom Cruise." Oof, harsh!

And then they compiled a slideshow of pictures of Tom and Katie carrying Suri -- and it goes on, and on, AND ON. Okay, okay! We get the point! They carry their kid around a lot, and it's totally overindulgent of them. The girl does appear to have feet and legs, after all. If you have your own skating rink, you can probably walk.

But of all the Suri indulgences, this is the one I can understand.

Have you ever read a parenting book and walked away feeling worse than you did before you read it? Yes? Well, me too. And we are not alone.

Recently, a study came out denouncing parenting experts' books for making mothers feel "confused and inadequate." Ask me why anyone would want to make new moms feel WORSE than they already do. We don't know why our babies are crying, these baby carriers require a master's in engineering to use, AND we have not slept in five weeks, two days, and 13 hours (but who is counting?).

What's that you say? You feel confused and inadequate already?

Shiloh Jolie-Pitt is, without question, one of the most beautiful children on the planet. It's like some scientist decided to try and create the perfect human specimen: "Hmm, I know, I'll mix equal parts Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie and ... presto!" Insta-Shiloh, and the kid is gorgeous.

Still, what's really cool about Shiloh is her style. She could easily coast along on mere good looks, but she's already pushing the fashion envelope and has been since ... I don't know, since she could walk? Call her precocious, call her a trendsetter ... her effortless "tomboy chic" is definitely unique.

Watch the way her trademark look evolves ...

Image via Splash

As a child of divorce -- who is now a divorced mother of two -- I know from experience that one of the toughest things for a kid is having to hear your parents criticize each other behind their backs -- or worse, having to listen to people who aren't even part of your family gossip about why your parents split up and who's to blame. Dealing with your mom and dad's divorce is difficult enough.

So I think it's great that Heidi Klum is taking the no-comment approach to her split with husband of seven years, Seal. Because it's bad enough when Aunt So-and-So ruins your birthday party complaining about your father's new girlfriend -- Heidi Klum's kids have to see that stuff on TV.

Breaking news! Three-year-old Vivienne Jolie-Pitt was spotted wearing bright red lipstick! Bright red lipstick, you say? This is huge!! We haven't seen bold toddler style like this since the heyday of Suri Cruise.

And now, let the detailed analysis begin: Is Vivienne merely emulating Angelina Jolie's trademark look? Is bright red lipstick really appropriate for a 3-year-old? Did Vivienne choose the right shade of red for her skin tone?

Are you kidding me?!

I want to make a very important distinction here, one that seems to be lost on far too many people: Everything we call "fashion" -- makeup, clothes, shoes, hair, etc. -- when we're talking about adults or teens or even tweens goes by a different name when we're talking about toddlers: "Dress-up."

Bristol Palin is back, you guys! Now Lifetime is putting the most famous teen/single mom on the TV in the new docu-series: Bristol Palin: Life's a Tripp. Because apparently her job now is to be on reality television. Nice gig, if you can get it. Or horrible gig, rather, if that's all you're qualified for, due to your lack of education because you were a teen mom. Either/or.

Of course I'm going to watch Bristol's adventures in Alaska because I'm completely fascinated with all things Palin, as well as terrified. But if you're a single mom and you're looking for a role model, I'm telling you there are a zillion other rad single moms out there to relate to instead of Ms. Palin. In fact, I know of five that can guide you in the right direction without taking you off a cliff.

If you missed Stephen Colbert's interviews with children's book author, and legend, Maurice Sendak, you must first watch part 1 and part 2 to immediately make your day. Go ahead, I'll wait. Are you back? Good! Because you are now primed to hear the announcement that Stephen Colbert did find a publisher for his children's book, I Am a Pole (And So Can You!), and it will be released on May 8.

So what can we expect from the author of I Am America (And So Can You!) as he delves into kid lit?

Brad Pitt with Knox and ZaharaDisclaimer: I don't give my kids soda on a regular basis. I know it's bad for them and bad for me and bad for you and yada, yada, yada. That said, I loved Brad Pitt's recent -- hilariously candid -- corn syrup-y confession:

Listen, I admit there’s times like, "We gotta get up. Get up! Here’s your shoes. Here’s your shoes. Drink this Coke. Drink this Coca Cola. Drink it all. Right now! Drink it! Drink it! Drink it!" Just so we could get ‘em up and going.

Ha! Who hasn't been there?!?!

Oh, I know, I know -- boo, hiss. Only bad, bad daddies give their kids soda! (And caffeinated soda at that!)

Please. Parenting Police, call off your dogs.