It's time for a Mom Confession -- because, let's face it, we're real mothers and sometimes it doesn't work the way the parenting books say it should.
This Week's Confession:
My toddler is very well-mannered and well-socialized around adults, but he has very little experience with other children. He is an only child and only has one cousin in town who is anywhere near his age; but I don't like letting him play with her because her parents are irresponsible, and she sets bad examples for my son (constant tantrums, no boundaries). I don't want to take him to play groups because I am worried about him getting sick during the flu season...
Also, we are broke, so "classes" and what-not are out of the question. He didn't seem to be missing other kids until recently—he has started asking random people (at the grocery store, etc.) to be his "friend" and talks about his toys having friends. He looks a bit wistfully at other children when we are out and waves at them and tries to talk to them. I'm starting to feel neglectful by not having other children around.
Is it okay for him to not socialize much with other kids at this age?
We all have secrets -- so thanks to this brave mom for sharing her honest thoughts, and thank you for keeping this conversation non-judgmental!
Do you have a Mom Confession you want to share? PM me. We can share your confession with your CafeMom screenname or anonymously.
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Comments (19)
I know how you feel because sometimes it just seems easier to keep your child away from things than to deal with any negative consequences of a situation. But in my opinion, I think it would be good for your son to get in a little social interaction. We're humans and we need it no matter what age we are. Maybe just try taking him to the park and letting him run around with some other children there his age. And if it's the germs you're worried about just bring some sanitizer and wash his hands as soon as you can. But I'm no expert and, of course, Mama knows best. :o)
I am a SAHM & have an only child. We haven't done "classes" yet either. But we go weekly to the library for story time. It lasts about 45 minutes and consists of reading books, singing, dancing, crafts, and toys. There are kids my daughter's age also that she gets to play with. We also go to MOPS (Mothers Of Preschoolers) 2 times a month and my daughter goes in her own class for 2 hours while I am with the moms. They do crafts, snack, playground, play doh, learn, etc. And we go to church weekly so my daughter goes to her church class and gets to be with kids her age. You don't have to spend money to socialize your child and make friends. And I agree about hand sanitizer when you leave these places.
Oh, and I meant to also say, I think it is important for their developement to socialize with children their age.
It happens. As much as people will say "You NEED to do ____!" it's not always POSSIBLE. As long as you don't turn down chances you have for interaction, if you can't do as much as you'd like, it's not a huge problem.
I'm not a mom who is going to say 'socialize socialize, socialize' because franly at a young age, they don't really need to be bombarded with it. But they DO need SOME interaction with other children. I would suggest not going out of your way to limit it, but if you go down to the park, let your LO run around and play with the other kids, or stay over at the cousins house so that YOU can supervise (noone said you had to leave them alone).
Worried about germs? Bring some hand sanatizer.... with swine flu being a harsh reality, nobody is going to looks at you funny.
I was afraid of that. My husband is an only child and he said that he felt so isolated. He insisted that we have our second baby right after the first. They LOVE each other and do everything together.
Dr. Phil had a show on this. YES! It is! Read up. MANY experts agree and actually think it is preferable.
I voted other. The QUESTION was "Is it OK for toddlers not to have much interaction with other kids?". I think that YES it's ok for toddlers to not have MUCH interaction. BUT... They do need SOME and it doesn't sound like this child is getting any.... that's just very sad to me
I am a mom and I get it but as you have issues with the way you raise youjr child. My son has one friend his 2 friends that are babies but that is because there are not that many kids. As for not wanting youur son to see someone's child because oh no he might not be so perfect anymore. Too bad, you can't keep him away from other kids for ever and it is not fair to him. Take hm to the park and playground. That is a normal health thing for all kids to do an like it or not he is going to het sick and if you don't let him he will be worse off later. Just let him be a kid.
He needs to have interaction. It helps him learn how to act around other children. If he doesn't start getting around children soon he's going to be confused and frustrated when he does get around them for school. start now. This is easy for me to say because i have twins who constantly play together but it seems very important for them to have each other, so I would say he needs to be around more children. Get him vaccinated and send him into the world.