Learning to Speak Nanny

on February 9, 2010 at 11:15 AM

Pop quiz.

Your nanny takes your kid for a haircut. You didn't ask her to and you liked your kid's hair the way it was. What do you do?

a. You nicely ask her not to do it again.

b. You go ballistic on her.

c. You give her a look that you hope she understands to mean please don't do it again.

If you answered a, you probably don't have a nanny. If you answered b, you probably don't have a nanny and think that all moms who hire them are like the super bitches depicted in The Nanny Diaries and Nanny Returns. If you answered c, you probably have a nanny.

According to Why Moms Need to Learn to Communicate With Nannies, the truth is, most moms who hire nannies find it extremely difficult to tell them exactly what they expect.

Moms and nannies often have differing views on nutrition, discipline, what household duties and errands are part of the job description, and even when it's okay to get a kid's hair cut. No matter what their personality or profession (tough prosecutor, CEO), many moms bite their lips and are afraid to give their nannies the ground rules given the personal nature of the relationship.

But nannies want—and need—to know what you expect. So tell them. Some tips:

1. Say what you mean.

2. If it's hard for you to say it in person, write it down. Leave your nanny a to-do list every day.

3. Start out with a written contract that explicitly lays out all the duties of the position.

4. No matter how much you, or your kids, love the nanny, remember she is an employee not a family member.

Do you have a nanny? Do you have a hard time telling her what you really want?

Does Your Babysitter Make You Feel Like a Loser?

How to Spy on Your Babysitter

About the author Suzanne Murray

is the Parenting & Political editor at The Stir/Moms Matter 2012.

Filed Under: child care

Comments (2)

CaptainMcMommy

on Feb 9, 2010 at 1:51 PM

I LOVE these tips!!!

"But nannies want—and need—to know what you expect. So tell them. Some tips:

1. Say what you mean. Don't be mean about it, but if me being 5 minutes late 1 day messes up your whole schedule then tell me so I'm not late again.

2. If it's hard for you to say it in person, write it down. Leave your nanny a to-do list every day. I LOVE to-do lists!!! I use them at home and I loved having them when I was nannying. Most days I would get to their house as the parents were running out the door for work and the kids were crying for breakfast. Having a writting list of things was VERY helpful.

3. Start out with a written contract that explicitly lays out all the duties of the position. The first family I worked for did this. It was great! I knew what was expected of me, what I was allowed to do (ie TV and computer), and they even included a map of areas I could go on walks.

4. No matter how much you, or your kids, love the nanny, remember she is an employee not a family member." This one I disagree on somewhat. The families I worked for always treated me like I was part of the family. That made me work even harder for them :-)

Report this comment

QueenOfNagsHead

on Feb 10, 2010 at 9:37 PM

Well my babysitter is a teenager, she can either be really sweet, and come early, play with the kids while i get ready to leave, clean up or she can let me know last minute that she will be there or not, come 1 minute before i have to leave, text the whole time she is there and sit on the couch the whole time. Hormones, I guess. lol