Mom Confession: I Don't Think I Like My Child...

Everyone has moments like this.  When babies won't stop crying it can be torturous for the mom.  You have four children -- that is not an easy job!  Give yourself credit for being there for your baby and carrying him to sooth him even when it's driving you crazy.

I do agree with the previous commenter, though, that you might have a bit of PPD.  You certainly don't have to be at the point of being a danger to yourself or others to call it depression!  Don't deny yourself help just because you think you're not "bad off" enough.  Someone to talk to may be just what you need to get you through your baby's crying stage.

When I had my son, it was like clockwork that at 4pm I would begin to have the same kind of thoughts/feelings that you're having.  (Especially the "I can't do this" and "What have we done?" thoughts...) Even though it would eventually pass, I finally got sick of (my own) crying everyday and asked my doctor for advice.  Low dose anti-depressants and a few counseling sessions did the trick for me. (I'm not giving medical advice, just saying what worked for me.)

Anyway, I thank you for your honesty -- and I wish you the very best.  Your children are lucky to have you.

After a few sleepless nights I felt that way about all of my children.  I think any mother who is absolutely exhausted has felt that way in some form.  The most important thing is to ask for help from anyone.  You need a break.

I agree.  Deny it all you want, it sounds like postpartum depression and you should look into help, even if it's just temporary.

I'm glad I'm not the only one to have moments like these. But I have a confession...I watch way too much TV and not pay attention to my little girl (18 months). She gets so much joy out of me when I finally get down on the floor and play with her. It really makes me sad to think about this. Sometimes I just want to throw the TV out the door because Its so much of a distraction. I HATE IT! I love playing with her though. :(

My son was a nightmare when he was a newborn! I didn't have PPD, I had a baby that went from 0 to apeS**t in 6 seconds. He's the most adorable boy in the world but he was (and still is) difficult. He was born at 8 pm and my husband had to go home that night, he insisted that I send the baby to the hospital nursery. The nursery sent him back! 

I felt terrible about wondering if I'd made a mistake. With my 1st baby, I was in pretty pink dreamland after she was born. She was (and still is) an angel.  With my son, I felt like I was in screaming, puking, stressland. My husband and I spent all of our time trying to calm him. We tried swaddling but he was 9 lbs at birth so that didn't work for long. We tried Gripe water, nothing, We put the bassinet up against the dishwasher and turned on the fan over the stove, worked for a minute. He hated the car but he loved Walmart. Needless to say, we spent ALOT of time at Walmart.  If I did get him to sleep, the slightest noise would wake him up and we'd be right back where we started. Continued....

 

Continued from previous post...

I used to think I was such a good mother. I would look smugly at moms who couldn't shut their kids up in public. I get those looks now and I realize that my daughter's good behavior was no more the result of good parenting than my son's difficult behavior is of bad parenting. They are who they are. We did discover that he had chronic ear infections and we had tubes placed. His attitude did change somewhat but as it turns out being a card-carrying malcontent is just an integral part of his personality.

I got through the toughest time by reminding myself that it wasn't going to be forever. I would also daydreaming about him as an adult with a screaming baby of his own. Oh, how I'll laugh and pretend to drop the call! He is 3 now and it did get a little better. I appreciate the few moments of peace that I do get (mostly at work). I feel for you, sister and I wish I had better advice. Hang in there.

it sounds like PPD to me too.. there are times i feel this way but it's towards my oldest bc he is now 4, still seems like he has terrible two's with tantrums and wish he would just listen already.. and with dh at work all the time there's no other choice.. but what i do is turn cartoons on for him that way i can get the housework done and take a break to check my messages and get some me time.. i say let him cry it out that's what i've done with all my kids instead of picking them up EVERY time they cried.. of course i always check to see if they are hungry or have a dirty diaper.. sometimes they just want to be held and sometimes u just have to let them cry it out or it will make u stressed out..

Honestly there where time i wanted to throw my son against the wall when he wouldnt stop crying. But i never did. I think all moms go through times when there baby just wont stop crying and it drives them crazy. Maybe he has colic, you should try giving him gripe water ( you can by it at wal mart, target, or health food stores and herbal shops). If that doesnt help take him to the dr to make sure nothing is wrong. Most babies dont cry non stop if everything is ok with them. Then again you might just have a needy fussy baby. But i would take him to the dr and just to make sure everything is ok. Its not your fault that he is crying and it will pass and things will be fine. I hope things get better for you

I certainly have had moments where I didn't 'like' my kids, or just wanted to head for the door and hop a train to Tahiti!  One of my kids had colic and I had moments when I would have given my right arm for him just to shut up!  That being said, after my third child I went through a long period of time where I just didn't want to do it anymore.  I felt like a rotten mom, I felt like I should never have had my third baby, I felt like I hated my life and just didn't want to do it anymore.  In my case, it WAS PPD, even though I didn't feel conventionally depressed.  I just lacked joy in every aspect of my life- even when the kids were being good I didn't want to be with them, and that is not me.

((HUGS)) and sorry you are going through this... I'm sure you're not the only one who has been there!