My Toddler Has a Death Wish

Suzanne Murray

Photo by sarah6183

I can't count the number of times I've saved my daughter's life this month. I feel like a super hero (that sounds better than saying mommy on training wheels).

First, she figured out how to open the car door. I was driving down the on ramp to the highway when all of a sudden I hear her back passenger door swing wide open. That was, uh, exhilarating. We had just turned her car seat around to face forward a few weeks before so her opening the door was something I'd never even thought about. Don't worry, I've learned my lesson and it won't happen again. We've sold our car.

Then, she tried to "kill herself" by eating some baking soda. She told me she was making cupcakes, which she does all the time with her play stove and baking utensils. I left the room for one second (mmm hmm) when I hear her smacking her lips. I ran back in to find her pouring baking soda into a container and licking her fingers. I leap into action (read: jump on the computer and google "two-year-old eats baking soda"). I find out that little kids have actually died from eating the stuff—and that their parents were sent to jail. Yikes! After a mild anxiety attack, a big shot of whiskey (kidding), and a call to posion control, I felt much better. She hadn't consumed enough for it to be a problem. I now keep the baking soda in the safe I bought for all my food supplies.

And now, she thinks she's a super hero too (kids try to emulate their moms). Whenever she can get away with it, she "flies" off the couch. Whee! Oh well, I guess it's good practice for when she's a real super hero (mom).

What have you been rescuing your kid from these days?

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