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I'd like to think I do what most other Toddler Moms do when I'm at a store alone with my son and I have to pee--I take him into the restroom with me--if not in the actual stall, then I tell him to wait right outside the stall door.
When tiredmomfor2 walked into a public women's room with her 3 1/2 year old son recenty, she actually got a dirty look from another woman--can you believe the nerve?! But tiredmomfor2's story does raise a very good question: How old is old enough to leave your son outside the restroom while you run in to pee?
"I have a little girl who is one and she will be potty training in a about a year," tiredmomfor2 says. "I can't see myself leaving my five year old outside the restroom while I take my daughter to go potty. And I can't picture sending him into a men's restroom by himself. There are some serious sickos out there."
I'm with her. My 5-year-old will have to tolerate my tinkling for the foreseeable future. Luckily, many stores now have "family assisted bathrooms" for moms of little kids and also adults who need help from family members. But what happens if you or your son has to go potty and the only choice is a women's or men's room? What age should we start letting our little boys stand outside the door, or venture into the men's room alone?
"As soon as you trust him to wait outside and not run off?" rockonrugby35 suggests in the Advice for Moms group. "It also depends on how well behaved he is. If he's that kid that's curious about everything, I would just have him wait outside. And if you're really worried, tell a cashier to please glance over and keep an eye on him for a couple seconds. Personally, it makes me uncomfortable, but I understand why women bring their boys in with them. It's not a huge deal, if I go to a public restroom and there's a little boy in there, I just wait until he and his mom/whoever are finished and out of the restroom before I even bother with my business."
"If my husband is not with me, my son, 7, will come with me," says mommyjof2. "I don't care what anyone thinks. I am not leaving my child alone in a store or going to the bathroom by himself. The world is way too dangerous."
"I say keep him with you until he can defend himself," says Brooklynsmom119. "I make my 9 year old cousin come into the bathroom with me (not in the stall). He waits outside of the stall so I can see his feet."
So, moms of sons, what's your public restroom policy? What age is the right age to let your little guy wait for you outside, or go into the men's room alone?
Comments (25)
I am sorry we live in a day and age where it is not safe to leave children unattended. I will not leave my five year old outside so that some woman who doesn't have a child can scoff at me for protecting mine. Until they make enough family restrooms I will keep bringing mine into the restroom with me!!
H*ll yeah - Protect your kid - do what feels right for YOU and YOUR kid.
Whatever is all I can say, why on earth would it be uncomfortable to have them in the bathroom do you not close your door????? That seems wierd to me that you would be uncomfortable having little boys in the bathroom...why? I would be uncomfortable with a mother who would leave her son or dtr outside the bathroom, watch the news there was just a 10 year old that was fondled while his mother waited outside the mens room in a walmart bathroom in san diego. I feel bad for the father that has their toddler dtr what are they to do, seems to me they have the REAL predicament with having to go into a bathroom with urinals no that's a REAL concern!
My son is 5 I would neeeeeever leave him outside of a bathroom while I went it. He comes in with me and if he doesn't have to go he stands right outside the stall door so I can hear and see him. Why take that risk? All the stalls have doors that lock and if someone is uncomfortable with it I would be more concerned with my child being safe then them being comfortable.
Nope, my son is 7 and if I need to run in to use the restroom he's coming with me. Everybody will just have to get over it. I'm not taking a chance on my child being abducted all because it might upset somebody to be in the women's restroom with me.
My son is now 9 and I have him take his sister who is almost 5 to the family bathroom in Target only (they know us very well there). When he was 8 I started letting him go by himself, even at sporting events. But if we were at a sporting event he carried his ticket (all 3 of them do) and I get seats near the bathroom. When he was 7 I started letting him go in the mens room. But I wait outside the door for him. Now if we are somewhere with out a family bathroom, then he knows to come into the womens room after he is done and wait for me.
I was pretty paranoid when they were younger. I'd send them in the mens room to see if anyone was in there, then only let them go alone if the bathroom was empty, probably around 5. At the grocery store I let them go alone, now. We are in a rural area and I know 90% of the employees, and they are 8, 10, and 11. The 10 yo is the one who has to go to the bathroom every time we walk into a public place. If we are somewhere bigger, I make them together. I would definately feel uncomfortable taking them and my 15 mo in the ladies room for my 10 yo to pee.
my son is almost 6 and i still take him in the womens restroom with me if i have to go or my daughter. I once in awhile let me son go in the mens restroom but i stand right by the dorway and after a minute ill yell in there and ask if hes ok. It makes me way scared to even do that once in awhile but i do understand he is getting older and i need to let him grow up and do thing by himself. I know im an overprotective mother and I do NOT trust many people but i make myself try and let him grow up. But i do not care if other women give me a dirty look for bringing my son with me. I WILL not leave him outside the restroom by himself. SO many children get taken in a store!
My son is 7 and then I have two younger children. I still take the 7 year old son with me when I use the restroom in public if my husband is not with me. It is not safe in this society to leave him alone standing in the store. I also do not think it is safe to send a child of that age alone into a men's restroom. I don't care if someone gives me dirty looks. My child's safety comes first. Besides, I don't let him wander around peeking under doors to stalls, he is attended the entire duration of the visit. I think any responsible mother would feel the same way.
People have the right to feel how they want to feel - uncomfortable or not. My reason for that is that I've been in the restroom when a mother has brought her little boy in with her, and he actually stuck his head underneath my stall door (this actually happened twice! lol). But just because it makes me uncomfortable doesn't give me the right to give anyone a dirty look or to tell them "um this is a women's restroom" or anything of the sort. Things happen, and if you feel that your son would be kidnapped or anything, bring him on in with you. Boo to the mean people with the dirty looks.