Mom Confessions: I Don't Set Up Play Dates for My Kids


mom confessionsIt's time for a Mom Confession — because, let's face it, we're real mothers and sometimes it doesn't work the way the parenting books say it should.

This Week's Confession:

I don't make play dates for my kids.

My husband and I work full time, and my kids are in school/childcare full time. Both the kids get lots of social interaction with other kids at school and their childcare facilities. We attend church, and they do some extra activities like sports part of the year. However, I can't help but feel badly for not setting up additional play dates with their friends. Between work and busy weeknights and weekends, it just seems impossible. At the same time, I'm worried my kids (and maybe my husband and me) are missing out a building richer friendships with other families. -- anonymous


Do you feel badly for not setting up play dates, outside of daycare, school, and other activities, for your kids?

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Total Votes: 90

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We all have secrets and opinions — so thanks to this brave mom for sharing her honest thoughts, and thank you for keeping this conversation non-judgemental!

Past Confessions:

I Wish I Had a Fulfilling Career Outside the Home

I Use My Kid's Flushable Toilet Wipes

I'm Going to Disney Without My Children

I Bribe My Children

I Hate Reading Children's Books

I Sleep Naked With My Toddler

I Hate My Neighbor's Kid

I Don't Like to Play

I Sleep While My Kid Is Up

My Kid Watches TV Up Close

I Let My Toddler Play Outside Alone

I Turn My Kids Over to A Mom I Just Met

My Toddler Wears Crude T-Shirts

I Let My Toddlers Climb Play Equipment Unassisted

My Kids Go to Sleep After Midnight

I Let My Toddlers Go Naked in Public

I Throw Away My Kid's Artwork

I Paid $22 for My Son's Haircut

My Toddlers Eat Pizza for Breakfast

I'm Dying My Toddler's Hair

I Leave My Toddler Alone in the Bath

Our Children Aren't Invited to Our Wedding

I Scold Other People's Kids

I'm on Vacation, But My Kid Is Still Going to Day Care

I Favor My Older Child

I Let My Toddler Eat Food Before Paying for It

I Find Excuses to Send My Kids to Bed Early



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JPsMo... JPsMommy605

Even though my son is in preschool fulltime - as a single mom, I  work fulltime - I still set up playdates with special friends of his - sometimes the playdate is nothing more than letting them play in the cars after school.  For me, it's still important to help build relationship one-on-one rather than just "socializing" in the school setting.  I also enjoy the time to get to know the parents of his friends better, to open of social doors for myself.  It doesn't hurt that one of his friends has a divorced dad, either. :)  I just think it's important for MY son, but I don't think all kids need the same levels of one-on-one socializing, especially if they are more introverted.

auror... aurorabunny

Pssh neither do I.  That's nothing to feel guilty over.  Just speaking for us personally we have enough on our plates to worry about playdates.

mmmom... mmmommy0207

During the school year, DD goes to school, and has friends over sometimes. DS isn't 2 yet, but he gets to play with his sis and 4 year old cousin a lot. We go to church and they socialize there. I think their social skills are fine, so I don't worry about it too much.

Saman... SamanthaAgain

I think that's a silly thing to feel guilty over.

M_May... M_May-Rafferty

I don't set up playdates anymore because my son has PDD-NOS and he is so behind in his speech compared to children his age.  I really wish there was a playdate group for other children on the spectrum so that my son can make friends and I can have other moms to relate to.

justa... justanotherjen

We don't do playdates.  The kids just play with the other kids on our block.  They get plenty of socialization.  I think more then they would with a playdate that would be just 1 kid who is close to the same age and probably the same sex as them.

My kids play with all sorts of kids, both boys and girls of all different ages (from 2 to kids are 3, 6, 7 and 9).  They do all their playing outside so they get lots of exercise.  Sometimes they go over to a friend's house which is always a spur of the moment thing.  We don't allow other kids in our house because my kids refuse to keep their room clean.  The only kids that come over are my friend's kids.

My kids have never complained about lack of playdates and I have never felt guilty.  I think if more people just let their kids be kids and play outside together in one big group we wouldn't need this silliness of organized "playdates".

TaimaM TaimaM

No playdates here.  They go outside and play.  They know their boundaries and can range anywhere in them.  They have plenty of interaction.

aiden... aidensmomma508

I don't set up play dates.   My son is in pre school/day care full time and I know he has alot of interaction there.  I'm sure when he's older he'll ask to go to his friends house or his friends come over and that will be fine.

chick... chickensmommy

i don't do playdates because i want to enjoy time with my daughter and she gets enough interaction with her cousins and daycare.  plus i don't want to be resposible for someone else's child!

boizmom boizmom

I'd love to set up playdates for my boys but meeting others is not my thing.  I try, I really do, but it just never pans out.  I'll meet other Moms, we'll exchange numbers but nothing happens.  I don't want to be pushy, but then again why did we exchange numbers?  My 4 1/2 wants to have a friend party for his 5th Birthday this year.  Well, I hate to say it but he doesn't have any friends.  The few friends from school he wanted to play with over the summer never called him.  (He never got their numbers, I sent little cards with him to school with our information.)  I'm at a loss here.  I am a SAHM and I want to have play dates, but I guess my kids and I aren't good enough?

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