When Grandma Pays for Everything (Even the Diapers)

on August 12, 2009 at 7:06 AM

Photo by Jeanmarie1975

I was jealous of a friend whose in-laws bought all their laundry soap, diapers and formula for them. Whenever the in-laws would come for a visit (about once a month), they'd stop at Costco on the way and load up.

With two kids and one income, the gesture made a big difference in their monthy bills -- diapers and formula are by far the most expensive baby items. I wished my own parents had helped us like that.

But my mom has been extremely generous in other ways. She loves to buy clothes for the kids, and does so every fall and spring for the change of seasons. And I let her, oh, boy, do I.

But a lot of moms don't believe in letting their parents buy necessities (and non-necessities) for their children. They think it opens up kids for spoiling and doesn't teach them gratitude or to appreciate how lucky they are to have material things.

Are you jealous of other moms whose parents help them out? Do your parents throw you a couple bucks now and again to help you raise your kids?

About the author Cynthia Dermody

is The Stir's Managing Editor who has trophies in her home for her skills at the Irish Jig. She makes cupcakes with as many fattening ingredients as possible, doesn't comb her hair for months at a time, and was probably a faerie in a former life.

Filed Under: child care, clothes, gear, toys

Comments (22)

angel_caramel

on Aug 12, 2009 at 7:19 AM

When I started my family, my parents buy me essential things like formula, feeding bottles, clothes and food stuff. I don't ask for them but she just gave them to us. This is a really great help. And sometimes, when we're really in financial situation especially when I got really sick and during my delivery, they help me pay hospital bills. They don't tell me that I should pay them back. Money to us is just money. We can always earn it but family is important.

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kidsworld

on Aug 12, 2009 at 8:26 AM

I think it is alright to help but don't overdue it. Sometimes grandparents can spoil a child and it causes problems when they get older and can turn parents and grandparents against one another. I know this from experience.

bandk4ever

on Aug 12, 2009 at 9:45 AM

My parents are awesome. My mom has bought 95% of my kids clothes and shoes...etc. I don't ask for it,but I appreciate it ALOT!!!! My dad will sometimes give me money out of the blue. So I'm very grateful and so thankful for them=)

SamanthaAgain

on Aug 12, 2009 at 9:47 AM

I think it's great when the grandparents help, but thankfully none of them go overboard. Catering to a childs every whim and buying them something every now and then are two different things.

coledon

on Aug 12, 2009 at 10:09 AM

My parents, SOs parents, SOs grandparents all buy things for my DS. I dont always want them to, but it really helps. They have bought everything from diapers, clothes, toys, shoes, toddler bed & right now I think my SOs grandpa is going to get him a new harness booster carseat. I think it makes them feel good to be able to do those things, plus all of them are really hands on & want involved in everything. Sometimes it does bother me. There have been times that I have wanted to get something for him myself, like his bed, and someone got it first. I did then have extra money so I got him the matching cover & sheet set.

MommyofMolly

on Aug 12, 2009 at 10:38 AM

We don't have family that buys things/sends money for us, with the exception of when she was first born. And other than my SO's sister and my Aunt we didn't have anyone recognize her 1st birthday either. However, I don't expect it either. We don't live close to much family, and that might be a factor.

I read these posts and think that these families who get the extra support are very lucky, but I'm not jealous. I think it's wonderful that people have this kind of support system in place. I've recently decided to become a SAHM, and it sure would be nice to have a bit of help, but we always seem to make ends meet!

AgentBrez

on Aug 12, 2009 at 10:49 AM

we have been very blessed with generous parents on both sides. i have rarely had to buy clothes or shoes for me kids b/c when my mom would visit or we visited them [when we used to live within driving distance and had room in the car] if the kids needed new clothes we would go shopping. i never ask for it, my mom would always offer. and between Christmas and bdays, they have gotten toys from family. we've always been responsible for the necessities, but if while my mom and i would be out shopping for clothes, we were somewhere where we could get diapers, she would buy a pack while we were out. its rare they just buy things without it being Christmas, bday or needed [like new clothes] so i dont think its overboard.

evythecute

on Aug 12, 2009 at 11:56 AM

I would never limit my DDs grandparents on what to buy her. They know i would rather her not get loads of toys and they respect that. but i would never turn down or complain about any gift they wanted to give my DD.

Unfortunately i have known some grandparents who have used buying the kids things as a way to gain some control. I think thats wrong. If you wanna help, help. don't do it to control people.

FIVEHAPPYHEARTS

on Aug 12, 2009 at 12:12 PM

man my mom is loaded and she never buys them anything i strugle day to day my stepmother is diffrent new or used she always gives my kids stuff my mom is mean

toriandgrace

on Aug 12, 2009 at 12:35 PM

How do grandparent bought diapers and formula spoil a child?

We live a long way from family, so they don't buy things constantly, but both my parents and my inlaws are very generous. They buy clothes for my daughter, as well as occasional toys. When they come to visit (twice a year), they pay for all of our activities and meals.

I was single when I had my daughter, and I lived with my parents; they helped me with everything. I am a lucky girl.