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Photo by cafemama
When I was little, I always opened my birthday presents in front of my party guests, both adults and other kids. It never seemed like a big deal. But now I notice a trend among some toddler moms I know who are doing away with the present-opening finale at kiddie birthday bashes. They wait till all the guests have gone home before allowing the birthday boy or girl to tear open their gifts, and follow it up with a thank you note. Some of their reasons ...
- "Opening the gifts makes the other children feel bad because they're not getting anything (the goody bag of stickers and a straw just don't compare to the remote control car).
- "Everyone fights over the new toys."
- "I want my child to learn to share, but I don't think their special day is the right time. It's unfair to let another child open the birthday boy's present, or make them relinquish a brand new toy just minutes after they receive it."
Remember, we are talking 1- to 4 year olds here. Is a child's birthday party really the place to introduce such complicated concepts like ownership and lending? Should toddlers open their presents in front of other kids? I was curious as to what other moms here would say (read on to find out) and I'd love you to chime in, too.
"Definitely let them! Its their day and the other kids will get theirs! Learning what's yours is all apart of growing up. I always opened my gifts in front of my friends when I was a kid and my 2 year old does the same. You can even involve them by letting them help if your child is okay with that." Steph319
"It can be a problem for 2- and 3-years-olds. I think parties should be very small (5 kids tops) which helps keep the chaos down. I don't have a problem letting the child open the presents AFTER the party either. At such a young age, kids don't understand that it's a special day, so I let my daughter open a present everyday until they were all open. That way, she enjoyed the new present instead of tossing it aside and racing to open the next box." kaycee14
"I have my boys open their gifts in front of others, as well. I, too. limit my guests and it is mainly family when they are little. The other kids do have to sit back and play with other toys. I often will not let them take any of their new toys out of the packaging till after everyone is gone. This way, there is no fighting and no missing pieces to their new toys. We also give out goody bags, bubbles, or candy to the kids so they all feel like they did get some thing." momfourboys
"Yes, let them open gifts there that day. After all, the people that give the gifts are there and it is much easier to thank everyone right then and there, instead of having to remember who gave what and so on. I agree with the mom above, you should do cake and whatnot as soon as all of your invites and family have showed up. That way, the kids don't get bored, and then they can also run off all the cake and ice cream before they get home! " Anonymous
Comments (12)
I did that this year (waited til everyone went home) I kinda felt bad though because i'm sure the guests wanna see if the birthday boy/girl likes there gift, but on the other hand all the other toddlers might be jealous and fight over the gifts. I think it's just safe to wait til they all go home and just take pictures of the reactions and send them via e-mail.
I usually wait --- but for no other reason than it just makes the party go on for too long to have them open them up while there are still 15 to 20 kids watching! It's much calmer when there are just a few relatives lingering.
I think the biggest issue isn't the toddlers: it's the parents. Who brought the better gift? Who bought more? I would hate for any parent to think I like one gift over another only because it's pricier or 'better'.
I just had a birthday party yesterday for my son (the big 2!) and we opened the presents at home. I wasn't sure what to do, but asked the other moms at the party and they said to wait. Two year olds don't understand that the toys are just for the birthday boy or girl and all want them.
Well, in my opinion it's always been done that they are opened at the parties (at least in my life). I personally limit the party to only family & close friends and there are not alot of toddlers. We keep the gifts in the boxes until after the party. In one sense it seems to me they should be opened at the party so the people giving the gifts have the joy of seeing the kiddos face and each kid needs to learn that on their birthday it's their day. On the other kids day they can open their gifts. Just my thoughts!
I have done it both ways for several holidays. Partly because I want her to enjoy the gifts slowly rather than having to unwrap fast due to other kids attention span and I like to see her with each one. However, I would never take the joy of seeing her face when she sees the gift away from the person who got it for her. If they really took their time to pick it out and want to see it I provide the time for them to. It would be rude otherwise... Sorry, you can't see her unwrap the gift you paid for. It all depends on the situation and the people. I like to opt for the least offensive route possible.
I am having my son's 1st birthday party this coming Sunday and we will be opening his gifts after we sing Happy Birthday. I loved that part of the party when I was a kid and hope he will too.
When we were little my mom would get one gift for the younger sibling so they didn't feel left out. At least until we understood the concept that it wasn't our birthday. I intend to continue that with my children, but I don't really intend to do parties with more than a few friends until they are older and understand birthday parties, until then, its just family and maybe one or two friends. I think its a little silly to have a party when the guest of honor has no idea they are the guest of honor, or really why they are celebrating.
We always let our kids open their gifts at their party. I grew up doing that too. We've been to more and more parties where the kids don't open gifts, and my kids are always disappointed. They like to see their friend open the presents and are upset if the gifts don't get opened.