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I was fascinated by Cafe Kierna's discussion the other day involving the British mom who actually rewards her 13-year-old daughter with cigarettes!
What is it about kids and smoking lately?
Today I came across this article on Babble.com about parents who let friends smoke around their kids. Whether you light up or not, this issue of kids and nicotine falls in a whole different category, for sure. (See what Cafe Suzanne says about allowing smokers to be parents in the first place).
Would you let a good friend who's an otherwise a positive influence on your child smoke a few feet away from them, either in your house or on an open deck outside? Or, do you do it yourself?
Before you answer--check out what the writer of the piece says--you may end up thinking a little differently about it.
People aren't perfect. When we try to create a perfect universe where adults are all role models all the time, are we really doing what's best for our kids? When they get out beyond the smoke-free deck, what will they think of the people who do smoke? What about other unhealthy behavior? Will you ask your anorexic cousin to finish everything on her plate? Or insist that your couch potato-father-in-law eat sliced bananas instead of a pepperoni pizza stuffed with cinnamon buns from Domino's when he's watching the game?
Of course, the behavioral aspect is only one side of it. I also worry about the proximity of the fumes to my little one's breathing apparatus.
California, Arkansas, Louisiana, Puerto Rico, Bangor, Maine, and Rockland County, New York, have all made it illegal for anyone to smoke while riding in a car with a child. Many states even prohibit lighting up around kids in the home.
Okay, let's have it. Your opinions, comments ...
Comments (7)
The difference between letting someone smoke around my child and letting someone eat unhealthy things around my child is that smoking is inherently dangerous to those around us. Overcoming someone's bad example is easier than undoing the effect of secondhand smoke on developing lungs.
My grandmother smokes, but she has never smoked around us (after meals she heads outside and take a smoking break for a while, then rejoins the family.) She doesn't smoke inside her home even when she's alone, because she wants her family to feel comfortable there. Not one of her children or grandchildren have ever tried smoking.
Although I wish she didn't smoke, because I worry about her health, I think it did have one positive side effect. We all learned, at a young age, that you can love and respect someone even if you don't agree with their choices. I'm happy to be friends with people who smoke, I just won't stay close to them while they light up.
I hired a babysitter who smokes, and a lot of parents wouldn't do that. We have rules about her smoking: she has an area outside where she can smoke, she can't smoke or take smoke breaks when she's on duty. I don't mind if my kids see smoking, it's a jumping off point so we can discuss this issue. I would mind, however, if they were subjected to second-hand smoke because it is proven to be dangerous. (My grandmother smoked all the time around me when I was little. I hated it!)
Since my oldest has asthma, we don't let her around smoke as much as we can. The only time that she is around smoke is when we go to my FIL's house and he's been trying not to smoke as much.
I have a really hard time with this subject because my mom and step-dad smoke in their house and do it even when I bring my daughter over (just as they did it while my brother and I were growing up). I hate it and I wish they wouldn't, they love their granddaughter so much and they are great with her but they still see nothing wrong with smoking in front of her. How do you tell your own parents at their house that they have to either go outside and smoke or not smoke at all while we are there. I have trouble fathoming having this discussion with them...
On the other subject though, I see nothing wrong with my daughter knowingand seeing the people in her life smoke because we are not all perfect. I will definitely teach her that while I love the people in my family that smoke I don't agree with their choice and that it is very unhealthy.
pwebster12 it is very hard! both my DHs dad and step mom and his step dad smoke inside there houses (but not wile we were there). at first i put up with it and just avoided going to their houses as much as possible. and when we were there stayed outside as much as possible. because even tho they aren't smoking inside wile we are there the second hand smoke is in EVERYTHING in the house. if a child touches fabrics or whatever then puts their hand in their mouth they are also putting nicotine in their mouth! So DH After a wile it got ridiculous trying to dodge the second hand smoke i would try to stay outside to avoid what was inside but then they would come outside where we were and smoke! so DH and i have decided their hurt feeling (if they have them) aren't as important as our child's health! so we will not be going over to either of those houses anymore. if they want to come see us they are more than welcome. but we will have strict rules about smoking. they must smoke away from the house up wind and put there butts in a butt can. not on the ground were my child could fined them and pick them up, and they must air off for a few minute before coming back inside so they don't just drag their stink back in the house.
I know it is possible to be a curious smoker because my dad is a smoker and i never had to deal with his second had smoke. my BFF of 10 years didn't even know my dad was a smoker till very recently.
We don't let anyone smoke around our kids. My oldest was a preemie and has asthma, the smoke sets it off. Our youngest caught RSV at 4 weeks old and though she doesn't have asthma, she does have issues with the smoke as well as other lung related issues. Not to mention, it's just bad for the lungs.
Most of my mother's side of the family smokes, so if we go to visit (which is rarely since they live 1.5 hours away) I open up all the window in the house, even in the winter. We don't stay long either. They know it's because of our worries about the kids lungs and they accept it.
I smoke around my kids because I use an electronic cancer free cigarette alternative no second hand smoke dangers or anything.
If you want some info feel free to pm me! =)