I Can't Believe I Just Said That!

funny mom comments

Photo by lshartnett

From The CafeMom Newcomer's Club, things you never thought you would say as a mom.

"Please make sure all the guts are cleaned off the counter with bleach, and put my scissors in the dishwasher."

"No, Texas is not in the dishwasher." (referring to a lost puzzle piece)

"Stop flinging poop!"

"It hurts when you kick Mommy in the chest."

"Baby, kissing is not sex." (after a toddler accused mom and dad of having sex in the living room)


"You can't put your apple in your sister's diaper."

"We don't try to put our fingers in the dog's bottom. He doesn't like that, which is why he's growling at you."

"Mommy's telephone doesn't belong in the fridge."

"No, we can't have boogers for breakfast."

"The cat's butt hole is not a button."

"I can't believe there is crap on my ceiling."

"Giovanni, please, where are Mommy's keys?"

"Quit spanking Mommy."

"Did you give birth to your brother? No."

"No, honey, your new baby  brother doesn't have an egg sack, that is is scrotum."

"You can't hit your sister every time she gives me a hug."

What mom craziness has come out of your mouth lately?

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