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Photo by Punkylu78
The toddler years are the perfect age to start teaching your kids manners and good habits. And MrsManners aka: Angela Pitre, owner of the CM group Manners for the Modern Family and FamilyMannersMadeFun.com, is here to help.
Dear MrsManners:
How do I teach my 4 year old not to interrupt me when I'm talking to my husband, my friend, or to someone on the phone? I swear, she will ignore me for hours but the minute I pick up the phone ... zoom. Like a magnet she's at my heels with some kind of non-urgent request. It drives me crazy, and I end up snapping at her. Help! -- anonymous
MrsManners says:
This is a 4-step process. Just remember that interrupting is normal and to try to be patient!
1. Teach your child that the only time it's okay interrupt you is for an emergency, such as he needs a bathroom and can't hold it or someone is hurt, etc. Then you have to decide what types of things constitute an "emergency" and explain them to him.
2. Make sure he always begin an interruption with "Excuse me, Mom," or "Excuse me, Dad."
3. Invent a non-verbal signal that you can use when your child interrupts that will let him know you acknowledge him and love him, but you are busy at the moment and will help him as soon as possible. As soon as you are free, tend to his needs first thing, before you do anything else, and remind him that next time he should try to wait until you hang up the phone or finish your conversation.
4. Set up a plan on how to interrupt. If your child gently tugs your arm while you are on the phone, you then hold your finger up to him like a Number One. Any type of signal will work -- cover your heart with your hand, cross your heart, make a funny face, wink. This tells him you promise to get right back to him.
Sincerely,
Angie aka MrsManners
Got a question for MrsManners? Ask it here! And check back every Tuesday for her answers.
Past Ask Mrs Manners columns:
10 Signs Your Toddler Is a Brat
Should Kids Be Forced to Share Toys?
Should Parents Say 'Thank You'?
How to Have Well Behaved Toddlers
Ashley Is a Widow Who Stays Strong...
Stephanie is a Surrogate Mom
I Named My Kid SpongeBob!
Emma Lives with Severe Food Allergies
Comments (5)
With my 6 yr old stepbaby, I put my hand on his head to signal to him that he's up next. His job, we've agreed, is to repeat to himself over and over what he's DYING to tell me so that when I'm off the phone he doesn't say, "Oh, I forgot!"
My 4 yr old stepbaby thinks that whispering is more polite. It's hilarious. He calls, "Eema!" when he wants to talk to me. I give him the #1 sign and say that I'm on the phone. He then whispers, "Eeeeeeeeema!"
You can't help but laugh at his absolutely logical application of the rules of polite behavior!
we need to work on this!
My son was taught from a young age to raise his hand if we're busy and he needs something. Granted, sometimes he's jumping with his hand up, or trying to get his hand in your face to make sure you see it, but it's helped a LOT.
Our "signal" is just the index finger held up, which is pretty universal for "Hang on a second."
One really important thing?
If you don't want your child to interrupt you, DON'T INTERRUPT THEM.
OMG I need to forward this info to a bunch of friends, lol!! My best friend has a 3 year old daughter who, while she's on the phone with me or talking to me in person, will literally stand next to her going "MOM MOM MOMMY MOM MOMMY MOMMY MOOOOOM" over and over again, and my friend completely ignores her for usually around a minute and then snaps "WHAT?!" I want to scream....at both of them, but mostly the mom!! My girl is just 2 and has known for a while that when Mommy (or Daddy or whoever) is on the phone or talking to someone she can wait until we acknowledge her until she tells us whatever she needs.