Fingernails on a chalkboard nothing. Whining is by far the most heinously annoying sound in human creation, in my opinion. I think the government should investigate it as a weapon against our enemies.
I guess I'm still a little raw from the extraordinarily whiny morning we had. It wasn't just the volume of whining, but the pitch. Lately, it's changed. It's higher and more shrill, and it makes me feel like my eardrums are going to implode.
The things that set it off today: Too much cereal in her bowl; too little cereal in her bowl (after I had dumped out a portion of the first bowl); smiling at her; trying to put her sweatshirt on because it was chilly; feeling cold because I didn't put her sweatshirt on.
So, the first thing I did after logging on was to seek advice from our CafeMom experts. I plan to try every single one of these strategies below until I find the one that gets my kid to stop whining. But first I need to grab a Tylenol.
- EVERY SINGLE TIME he whines, respond, "I'm sorry, I don't understand you when you whine" and do not do whatever it is he wants until he asks me in a normal voice. Avarah
- First, don't ask him to stop more than twice. Pick one method and stick with it, either a time-out, a quick swat on the butt, etc. When you switch back and forth, you teach him that the rules and consequences are always changing. kaycee14
- I try to talk to her very calm and tell her that it is okay that she gets frustrated or mad but she has a voice and she needs to use it: "There is no reason to whine, you are not a baby, use your voice. Tell me why you don't want to, or I can't hear you." It seems to work lately. smcelroy
- I take them to the rocking chair and tell them that they have to sit there till they are done whining, and when they are ready to use words, they can come out. (The rocking chair is in their room, they do not have any toys in there, so they can't play, but they are allowed to get down and lay on their beds, or look at books.) daughteroftruth
- I will offer her what she wants but then tell her she can't have it until she stops whining and asks me in a normal voice. Her main thing is "Mama, I want juuuiiice." I will just say, okay, you can have some juice, but ask me like this: "Mama, may I have more juice please?" She got the hang of it. When she really got going I would just mock her. I would even roll on the ground with her. She realized how silly she was being when she saw Mama being silly too. We usually ended up laughing. gwynsmama
- Squirt him with a squirt bottle. I tried it once and my little guy was shocked and it stopped him! Long term though, I don't know what to tell you. 00momma00
- When they say "I WANT such and such" I reply with "that's nice." They usually come back with, "May I have such and such please." If they throw a tantrum after I've said no, I ignore them for a few minutes and if they haven't stopped I threaten a spanking. If they still keep going with their tantrum I give them a spanking and after a few more minutes of their crying because the spanking hurt, I ask them if they want another spanking. They always say no, and I reply, "Then you need to stop your tantrum and control yourself." ronibaloni
Really, can you think of any other sound that's worse than whining?
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Comments 9
Thank you! This post couldn't have come at a better time. My 4-year-old girl is constantly whining and it drives me crazy. I laughed out loud at 00momma00's suggestion to squirt her with a water bottle... I might just try that.... but probably will just think about what her reaction would be and laugh!
00momma00 got me too lol!
My DD is just turning 2 (in 4 days AHH!) so her language skill still aren't that great. but when she starts getting whiny i get down on her level tell her "i cant understand you you need to calm down" and reassure her. help her take a few deep breaths. this almost always works. but there are those days when we have a super terrible 2's day and the whining is just non stop even when i am doing what she wants! on those days i will send her too her room for 2 min and tell her to calm down. when i get her out i tell her she needs to talk in a nice voice and be a nice girl. but there has been times where i gave MYSELF a time out in my room and just plugged my ears for a little bit so i could calm down. by the time i come out we are both much calmer and i can deal with the situation.
ohhh --- the time out for yourself is a good idea too.
All I can say is, I'm glad this insanity doesn't only exist in my house!
I just googled "my four year old won't stop whining" and it sent me to Cafemom. I am a member and didnt even think about looking here (the whining is draining my brain). Just in the last month, he has started whining about EVERYTHING.. I am losing my freaking mind. He has even started insisting that I dress him and help him brush his teeth (he has been doing both himself for quite some time). I want to try the squirt bottle thing, it worked on my cat.
Hmm, another of the problems that we did NOT have at our house. The first time or two a child whined, or used that pitch to her/his voice, the child was given time out and was told that whining is neither polite nor productive, and that asking or requesting was much more effective. We also recognised that just as older children and adults have bad days, so do younger children, and sometimes the whining comes as a result of that, so steps were taken to counter "bad days". This inculded things like a cuddle, time to herself/himself to relax a little, or a special treat such as "alone time" with one parent and no other people in the way.
oh boy, Im so glad i found this thread, my dd is not stop whinning lately, she will be five in a few short weeks, I feel like I cant take it somedays, I am actually a behavioral therapist and I know about the 'planned ignoring' technique but its sooo hard to do when she is whinning and screaming in your ears. I swear I actually timed her today, we were at the beach, she was whinning for an ice cream cone which I didnt have my wallet on me and no money to buy her one so she freaked out and was whinning and whinning, so i told her if you dont stop it right now we are leaving, and guess what I up and packed up all of our things and left the beach!!! she screamed in the car all the way home and whinned for about another half hour after we got home. but at least she knows shes not getting what she wants by whinning, but I did feel like whooping her you know what.