Moms and Kids as Equals -- New Parenting Approach

consentual living

Photo by Christy.Cab

It's called Consentual Living -- it basically means that you and your toddler are equals. You are no longer the boss, and she is no longer the underling.

No more time-outs or spanks. No taking away consequences to discourage bad behavior. No, well, no more work for us moms at all!

Parent Dish goes into the Consentual Living philosophy and bit more deeply and provides a link to the movement's main site, but here's an example of how it might work in practice:

"If little Bobby hits another child on the playground, Dad might talk to him about how hitting is wrong and offer him other ways to express his anger, but he won't make him apologize. If 2-year-old Susie doesn't want to tag along with mom to her doctor's appointment, mom might cancel her appointment."

So, punishments and rewards are considered "tools of manipulation" and unnecessary when the whole family is working together toward a common goal. When parents put themselves in the role of authority, they may believe they are doing it for the child's good, but they could be missing an opportunity to have more connected relationships with their children, a spokeswoman for the movement says.

This would not work in my house. If I did this, we'd be watching the CARS movie 24/7, adopting 30 puppies, and eating brownies for dinner every night.


Do you agree with the Consentual Living approach to parenting? Have you or would you try it?

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Heate... Heater858


Who comes up with this horse shit??!! No wonder we have a generation of spoiled brats! Kids need discipline and guidance!!!!!!! A parent's job is to be a parent--not the kid's best friend. If the parents are the kids' friends, how will the kids appreciate how to relate appropriately to other figures of authority? What about a boss? They won't have a clue! Kids need rules and appreciation for the fact that the world does not stop for them or revolve around them. What a bunch of bull!!


I couldnt have said this any better myself....

Holle... Holleygirl

This is absolutely absurd! Parents and children are not equals! They do not have the mental capacity or experience to make these kinds of choices or decisions. They have to learn there are consequences to their behavior. When they are adults if they don't do their job, they get fired, they don't obey the rules, they get tickets and fines, they don't get along with others and hit them they get arrested. Who will teach them this if we consider them equals and let them run the show. Punishments and rewards are a proven and effective way people have been learning since the beginning of time. When done in love it works. They are not "tools of manipulation". the best way to have a "connected relationship" with your child is be their parent.

jcsmummy jcsmummy

what were they smoking when they thought this one up? ridiculous, with a capital STUPID.

Linds... Lindsey2006

You are the parent so be the parent. That would make a very spoiled child. Dont think so.

Queen... QueenAdeela

My grandma use to say "You all are going out the world backwards and I am sitting right here watching you!".  This post is a prime example of that and my grandma died in 1997.   I do agree that children are smart and some of them are smarter than the parents,  however,  if you let them be equal in your house,  they will try to be equal everywhere and that is not going to work!

Cal311 Cal311

I am my childrens mother, not their friend.  That can come later, when they are adults.

Cal311 Cal311

and could you imagine...would be like "Village of the Damned", all them evil little kids and the adults afraid of them.  I don't think so.

Brade... BradenIsMySon

Did anyone actually go to the consensual parenting webite and read? Not read the blog filled with opinion on here? I didn't say that kids get whatever they want, it said parent are the ultimate decision maker, but, kids get to vioce their opinion and it is considered and weighed and if it doesn't hurt anyone, then it is done. So, the feeling of the kids are validated, not they say and the parents jump.

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