Moms and Kids as Equals -- New Parenting Approach

consentual living

Photo by Christy.Cab

It's called Consentual Living -- it basically means that you and your toddler are equals. You are no longer the boss, and she is no longer the underling.

No more time-outs or spanks. No taking away consequences to discourage bad behavior. No, well, no more work for us moms at all!

Parent Dish goes into the Consentual Living philosophy and bit more deeply and provides a link to the movement's main site, but here's an example of how it might work in practice:

"If little Bobby hits another child on the playground, Dad might talk to him about how hitting is wrong and offer him other ways to express his anger, but he won't make him apologize. If 2-year-old Susie doesn't want to tag along with mom to her doctor's appointment, mom might cancel her appointment."

So, punishments and rewards are considered "tools of manipulation" and unnecessary when the whole family is working together toward a common goal. When parents put themselves in the role of authority, they may believe they are doing it for the child's good, but they could be missing an opportunity to have more connected relationships with their children, a spokeswoman for the movement says.

This would not work in my house. If I did this, we'd be watching the CARS movie 24/7, adopting 30 puppies, and eating brownies for dinner every night.


Do you agree with the Consentual Living approach to parenting? Have you or would you try it?

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RanaA... RanaAurora

Uh... yeah... no.

As an adult, you understand how the world works, social nicities, safety, etc.
Children do not.  It is your JOB to teach them these things, and also to make it perfectly clear that certain things are NOT acceptable.

If you're an adult and hit a stranger, you'll go to JAIL.  If you're a child, you need to have a negative reaction as well.  It's called the REAL WORLD we live in.

Lindalu2 Lindalu2

That's just crazy!

litls... litlsuzzy

and you wonder why some 13 year olds have screaming, raging temper tantrums in public on a regular basis.

jenni... jennifer_luke

The way I see it, when I was growing up we weren't given choices.....   We either did it the first time or we did it after we got our tails tore up.    Either way we did it.  I turned out to be a responsible adult so if it was good enough for me then it is good enough for my boys.  People wonder why kids today act the way they do.  Children don't need a choice they need a parent to show them the way.  

amber710 amber710

I definately think it would be helpful in many ways as long as a line is drawn on certain issues. This would be especially helpful in parenting teens who tend to push away and act out when they feel disrespected or looked down upon.

3gift... 3gifts.from.god

LOL whoever came up wit that is going to have some seriously messed up kids. LOL poor things will crash and burn in the real world.


irish... irishstarz

Yeah, no..I don't want my Son to turn into a brat. Simple as that. Parents who purposefully turn their child into a wild, rebellious brat are so far from a parent. Do you honestly think no discipline helps teach right from wrong? Yall are prob the 'parents' that let their child scream bloody murder in public and think they're just 'expressing themselves' while doing nothing to set them straight. Insanity!

mrssu... mrssundin

parents are the boss for there kids for a reason, and that it because kids do not have the same mental skills as an adult has the the maturity.  i can see this back firing in a bad way.  we already have a ton of kids that think they were born to run there parents lives and that is sad because a lot of good parents are being taken advantaged of by there kids.

needt... needtochat

I dont need to say anything, for the majority  above ,has spoken what I have to say HELL NO

RanaA... RanaAurora

Oh, and the idea of a mom canceling her doctor's appointment because her two year old doesn't want to go?  That's f**king ridiculous and pathetic.  What next?  Your kindergartner doesn't want to go to school so they don't have to, just like Daddy doesn't have to go to work?  Oh... wait...

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