Mom Confessions: I'm Dying My Toddler's Hair

on February 6, 2009 at 11:33 AM

It's time for a Mom Confession -- because, let's face it, we're real mothers and sometimes it doesn't work the way the parenting books say it should.

This Week's Confession:

"My son is still a baby and doesn't have hair yet, but if his hair grows in red, I will be sad. I will seriously dye his hair if it is really red. No offense to anyone or any kid with red hair ... some are really cute .. and girls with red are very pretty. But I just love blond/brown hair." --anonymous

Does a mother have a right to dye or enhance their toddler-age child's hair for preference or cosmetic reasons alone? How much control should a mom have over a young child's physical appearance? What message, if any, does this send to your toddler?

We all have secrets and opinions -- so thanks to this brave mom for sharing her honest thoughts, and thank you for keeping this conversation non-judgemental!

Past Confessions:

I Leave My Toddler Alone in the Bath

Our Children Aren't Invited to Our Wedding

I Scold Other People's Kids

I'm on Vacation, But My Kid Is Still Going to Day Care

I Favor My Older Child

I Let My Toddler Eat Food Before Paying for It

About the author Cynthia Dermody

is The Stir's Managing Editor who has trophies in her home for her skills at the Irish Jig. She makes cupcakes with as many fattening ingredients as possible, doesn't comb her hair for months at a time, and was probably a faerie in a former life.

Enchantasi

on Feb 6, 2009 at 11:46 AM

It not only damages the hair, but new hair at that doesn't stand a chance at a healthy life starting that early, and do you really want your child to think that he wasn't wanted because he didnt have the 'right' hair color to suit you?

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PatCarMom

on Feb 6, 2009 at 11:52 AM

The chemicals in hairs dyes are hard on an adults body... I would think they could be almost toxic levels to a toddler.

My big concern though is that the child will grow up feeling like they are not good enough for Mom. That would be like saying I like blue eyes so my kids all have to wear blue contacts. It is very vain, silly, and DANGEROUS!

jennagale76

on Feb 6, 2009 at 11:53 AM

Yes, she has the right to do it I suppose, she is the mother. However, I think that if someone actually did this they need the crap kicked out of them. The child will not remember it as a positive experience I'm sure.

KateKevinAdopt

hair color, whether chemical or "natural", is way too harsh for a child's skin, and can cause blindness if it gets in his eyes--which can happen VERY easily with a little kid. Also, why would you want to tell your son he is not good enough for you? Seriously?

Jenyfur

on Feb 6, 2009 at 11:58 AM

This is ridiculous. It has got to be fiction. No one would really do this to their child, would they?

mary312

on Feb 6, 2009 at 12:00 PM

oh, Its all too real. My daughter went to cosmotology school and you would not believe what some mothers do to little kids hair! on lady got her 7 yr olds hair "retouched" every 2 weeks! There should be a law!!

LelandsMommy

on Feb 6, 2009 at 12:06 PM

WOW! How vain are some people? First off like the other posters have said, it's dangerous! But besides that, what a terrible message to send to you child! "You are not good enough/ special enough the way you are", "You need to change who you are to make people (including mommy) love you", "Looks are everything"... who would want their child to think those things!

asiamommi

Very soon, if not now, we can find out what color eyes and hair our child will have. If you had found out while pregnant that your child was going to have red hair, would you have terminated the pregnancy?