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Photo by mommyto3kidz
I'm always stunned when I enter a public place, say the grocery store or my daughter's preschool, to find a child holding the door open for me. I'm stunned ... because it happens so rarely!
Somewhere along the lines, the focus on teaching manners to modern kids has gotten lost. I'd like to try to find it -- for my toddlers and yours -- and MrsManners (AKA Angela Pitre, CafeMom to 19-month old Griffin) has offered to help.
The owner of the CM group Manners for the Modern Family group and MannersMadeFun.com is going to visit us once in a while with some fun games and advice. This is the age to start instilling nuggets of etiquette in our toddlers.
And she wants your questions, too -- on how to deal with public tantrums, kids who talk back, lack of gratitude, you name it! Post your question in comments, and check back in Toddler Buzz for MrsManners' answer in an upcoming post.
Let's start with my question: What is the earliest we can start teaching our toddlers manners, and how do we begin?
"Manners are something that you can start working on with your toddlers right now. They don't even need to be able to talk," MrsManners says. "You are their best teacher and they will naturally emulate your behaviors. So become the person you want your child to be. If you want your toddler to do something, ask them nicely: 'Will you please pick up that toy?' If he doesn't do it and knows he should, remove the 'please' from the sentence the second time so he realizes this isn't an option. And thank him when he is finished."
Whenever you can make manners fun, the better! MrsManners says. For instance, instead of telling your child to "sit still" when in his high chair, tell him he has entered the "no wiggle zone" -- the fun name gets him into the game and helps him remember it better.
And here's a little song that MrsManners wrote to set your kids off on that path to good behavior. Just sing the lyrics to the tune of of "Are You Sleeping/Frere Jacques."
Please and Thank You, Please and Thank You
Sound So Nice, Sound So Nice,
Don't Forget to Use Them, Don't Forget to Use Them,
Every Day, Every Day
Do you have a question for MrsManners? Ask it here!
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Comments (18)
I have extremelywell behaved children and no I'm not exaggerating (I worked daycare for three years) but my 27 month old tend to act like not so well mannered children when she is in a large group of children. How do I get her to stop this and mind her manners even when others her age aren't?
The easiest way to teach a child to say thank you is to say it every time they hand you something. They really do learn manner from their parents example.
This is great because my son's preschool is working on manners - they have a big poster with the specific one's they're practicing: Please and Thank You; Covering your mouth when coughing or sneezing, Asking to be excused...I don't remember them all. My son knows most of them already because I do use my manners knowing he'll do what I do. When he's playing with his friends from school and they forget, I just remind them to use the manners they're practicing at school (it happened today at the playground). I don't enforce it with other children, but I do pay special attention to my son when he uses them around his friends; and if they all forget, then I'll use my manners to help them practice theirs. And always with a smile!
My son does very well when it comes to saying 'please' and 'thank you' but when we're in a large group of people he becomes very hyper, doing loud dances and when asked questions will respond by making strange noises. What do I do about this? (He is 2.)
I have the same problem as bensmom. My 2yo girl gets a little crazy around other kids, and somewhat mean. But at home she almost always remembers her please and thank yous. Also recently she seems to be doing things for attention, how do I give her more attention not related to the bad behavior? I'm with her all day long!
my son has PDD so getting him to do things is often difficult, but I am always telling him what is the right thing to do
if we are in a store and someone dropped something i ask him to pick it up saying that someone could trip on it and if he drops something i tell him he needs to pick it up because it's rude not to
he's told to wait his turn and to speak softly
i work retail and for the most part the kids that are rude and have no manners are because of the parents it's out job to show by example and to use "the moment" as a lesson whether someone is doing something right or wrong
My husband and I always work hard to teach our kids maners, and they are very well behaved. My DD is 2 and she of course can have her moments, like any other child, but she is typically very well behaved and does mind her manners. She knows please and thank you, excuse me, covers her mouth when she coughs, etc.
My question is, do you consider shyness to be a problem with manners. I had an older woman tell me that my child was not well behaved and I had not taught her manners because she gets shy around new people. I don't see any problems with this, I actually like that she won't go to any person who speaks to her. I was curious about what other moms thought about this one though.
My son says Thank You already, and he's only 14 months old. My question is: How can I teach him not to touch other women's breasts and pull on their shirts? I've tried gently but firmly pulling his hand away when he does it to me and firmly saying "No no" but he just laughs. I don't want to ignore it because I see how it can be a little awkward for some women especially women who have not had babies, but everything I do seems to egg him on. Any thoughts?
my girls always hold doors open for others, and say please and thank you.
I beat manners into them LOL JUST KIDDING. I think they learn from you, so I ve always held doors open, and said please and thank you
How do we get the "Yes Ma'am/No Ma'am", Yes Sir/ No Sir" thing down? My 3 year old does great with please, thank you, excuse me, and bless you (when someone sneezes), but we can not get the ma'ams and sirs!