Mom Confessions: Our Children Aren't Invited to Our Wedding

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mom confessionsIt's time for a Mom Confession -- because, let's face it, we're real mothers and sometimes it doesn't work the way the parenting books say it should.

This Week's Confession:

I've been engaged for 3 years, and my SO recently announced to our children that he's taking me to the Bahamas to get married and that it's going to be just the two of us.The kids (we have three each 22,17,14,13,12 and 11) all looked kind of hurt that they weren't going to be included.

We talked about it later and he made a good point about how everything we do turns into "all about the kids," and he's right. I thought it might be a good way to start off blending our families, but I'm sure their motives are selfish for wanting to be there.


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Should a mother or future step-mother be required to invite her children to her wedding?

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Are you a bad mom if you don't invite your children -- especially needy and clingy toddlers -- to your wedding? Should this be one instance where you and your wishes are put first if you so choose?

We all have secrets -- so thanks to this brave mom for sharing her honest thoughts, and thank you for keeping this conversation non-judgemental!


Past Confessions:

You Adopted Her, But She's Still Mine

I Scold Other People's Kids

I'm on Vacation, But My Kid Is Still Going to Day Care

I Favor My Older Child

I Let My Toddler Eat Food Before Paying for It

confessions

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nonmember avatar annie

It is incredibly hurtful to exclude your children from this wedding. How can this be about blending your families when you aren't even including your family!? I can understand wanting some "alone" time, but that's what the honeymoon is for. Id be wary about joining my life with someone who viewed my kids as selfish simply because they wanted to share such a monumental occasion with me.
I predict much unhappiness for this "blended" family

Michelle Lamb

It's simply going to hurt their feelings and possibly make them bitter towards the marriage and their new step parent. My mom and step father did the exact same thing as described, when I was about 9. I'm 25 now, and it still hurts.

jcsmummy jcsmummy

ummmm... how is excluding your children from the union of yourselves and your families a good way to start blending your families?  

Karen... Karens_mommy

3 years together and the age of the children, they should have found their niche in the family by now. However if they are truly hurt over it (and not just wanting a trip to the Bahamas) have a informal small ceremony with them at home and have your honeymoon in the Bahamas.  They will get over it if they don't get to go and it will not make it any less of a family either. How they perceive each other as a family is not determined by whether or not they attend a ceremony but by actions in daily life. 

tazdvl tazdvl

I hope they understand

rainb... rainbowbabe220

curious did u guys include the children i think its selfish not to. i would never keep my child out of such a big day.

nonmember avatar Ashley

I think you and your SO are SELFISH. And I'm sure the kids' "selfish" reason for wanting to be there is cause YOU'RE THEIR PARENTS! My dad didn't include me or my siblings when he married his wife, and I still hate him to this day for it. And I was 19 when this happened. Guarantee those kids feel slighted and unwanted.

nonmember avatar amanda

Not selfish at all! It's YOUR wedding and time for some alone time! Your kids are plenty old enough to get this. Tho I agree with having a little something with the kids too.

nonmember avatar Helen Borges

Sure, go ahead, have a great time! Just remember to smile when each of them say one day "hey mom or dad, I'm getting married but you're not invited, don't take it personally". Yeah, doesn't sound too nice, does it?

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