It's time for a Mom Confession -- because, let's face it, we're
real mothers and sometimes it doesn't work the way the parenting books
say it should.
This Week's Confession:
I've been engaged for 3 years, and my SO recently announced to our children that he's taking me to the Bahamas to
get married and that it's going to be just the two of us.The kids (we
have three each 22,17,14,13,12 and 11) all looked
kind of hurt that they weren't going to be included.
We talked about it later and he made a good point about how everything we do turns into "all about the kids," and he's right. I thought it might be a good way to start off blending our families, but I'm sure their motives are selfish for wanting to be there.
Are you a bad mom if you don't invite your children -- especially needy and clingy toddlers -- to your wedding? Should this be one instance where you and your wishes are put first if you so choose?
We all have secrets -- so thanks to this brave mom for sharing her honest thoughts, and thank you for keeping this conversation non-judgemental!
Past Confessions:
You Adopted Her, But She's Still Mine
Ashley Is a Widow Who Stays Strong...
This Hot Dad Wants to Vacuum Your Rug
This Hot Dad Wants to Do Your Ironing
KStew Refuses to Shower
Comments 98
Wow...I can't imagine NOT inviting your kids to your wedding! I share the same opinion as Thia29.
Weddings are about the two people joining lives. My life would not be complete without my children. My SO and I have two children and I can't wait to have them at our wedding some day. The very idea makes me feel so lucky. These kids are old enough that they should not be all that consuming and the older kids should be able to help out.
as a mother I would want my kids there but maybe you can plan on doing a dinner when you get home to have the kids and family there? That way they are not being totally left out.
My grandfather remarried about 10 months after my grandmother died then he called his adult kids and informed them. It was rude and he was embarrassed because he didn't mourn for the full 12 months as expected. It was quite a shock to me as a kid to suddenly have a step grandmother. I didn't like her much because she wasn't brought into the family in the proper way. She was just sprung on us! This is a little different, but still the wedding ceremony serves a certain purpose that shouldn't be ignored.
my mom did something similar to me when i was 10... she went on a week cruise with my step father and got married in st. thomas.. it kinda sucked because she never ever took me on vacation before.. and i would have liked to go.. i still hold it against her to this day.. ask the kids how they feel about it IMO..
A heatlhy marriage is one you put first. This is a day about the two of you. Just maybe have a family celebration day when you come home? Make it a weekend about the kids, doing stuff the kids love. You can even wait till the summer, tell them you'll have the family day at an amusement park. But that the wedding will be about the two of you.
Ok 14 years ago my mom eloped with the man she was living with. She sent her family and announcement. Granted she didn't want to hear objections to the union but my brother and I were very hurt. I get you don't want it to be all about the kids. How about you invite one other major adult to supervise the kids. They would be responsible for them while you do the fun couple stuff and then you family time and honeymoon time.
I think if you keep low-key about it and are not going on and on about your trip and wedding preparations, then they might not feel like they're missing out. But make sure to have a celebration when you get back that includes all of them participating.
Congratulations!!
I agree with many others. I might cause more problems as a blended family if you don't invite them. Get married with the kids invited then do the honeymoon. Meet in the middle they may do better with that. Your kids might reject him because he worked it out for them not to attend. Don't think you want to start out with them not likeing him over this. I would go away for an over night and for sure leave them home then the honeymoon as soon as you can evn right after the weeding.
invite the kids to the wedding. how else do you think you can become a family?
if you dont invite them you are asking for teenager hell for as long as you have them under your roof?!
just sayin',,,,,,,,,,chicka:)