Mom Confessions: I Scold Other People's Kids

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hushIt's time for a Mom Confession -- because, let's face it, we're real mothers and sometimes it doesn't work the way the parenting books say it should.

This Week's Confession:

If a child comes in my house and starts breaking the rules, I'll scold them if their parents refuse to. I treat all children the same. I demand respect as well as give respect.

Case in point: My sister-in-law's daughter started swinging these heavy glass objects. Her great grandmother and great aunt told her to stop, but she kept doing it, and her mother was in another part of the house. So I sternly told her to put them down and said if you can't listen, you need to stop playing with them.

The girl threw them, screaming, and ran to her mom. Her mom told her, it's okay, you can play with them, and got mad that I scolded her child.

Poll

Should moms be allowed to scold another parent's child?

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Total Votes: 630

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Do other parents (not a caregiver or babysitter) have the right to discipline your kid when you are not around -- either in someone else's home or a public place, or when the incident involves their own child?

We all have secrets -- so thanks to this brave mom for sharing her honest thoughts, and thank you for keeping this conversation non-judgemental!

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111 Comments

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Ethan... Ethansmommy_3tg

hey i don't favor, i'm going to tell your kid as well as mine to knock it off, with my siblings kids, you better believe i'm up scolding, swatting, sending to the corner if it's reasonable, one of my sisters refuses to do it, and her brat knows it, so when i try to talk to her she goes running to her mom... makes me insane, and because of that i got tired of sitting by and having these kids not listen to me, don't tell me they don't do crap because thier mom or dad is in the other room... it's exactly why they do it, and as for non family kids, i'll speak up, in a way thats actually more talking to the parent then the child like "umm i don't think MOM wants you to be doing that" and if i hear them agree or say something before i did, then i know it's not what they want them to be doing and i'll jump in, and i hope that my friends would do the same for me, i don't have eyes in 738475398475 plaices at once, so alittle assistance is helpful.

Kizmi... Kizmiaz112

How funny this came up now. On Christmas evening my brother's Ex-girlfriend came over (they are just friends) She wants to be a part of our family so bad and it won't happen as long as I can help it as you can see I don't like her. ANYWAY She doesn't have any kids and is never around any kids other then mine when she visits once a year. She took it upon herself to try to verbally discipline my son, telling him to listen to his grandma and not to do this and that. My son looked at her like "who are you" he actually called her my brother's "girlfriend's"name and ran to me. I WAS P.O. I told him "it is okay but you should listen to grandma and do what she says and if you need me I am here for you." I never let on that I was so mad because hey she was about to leave anyway. My son never sees her so to him it seemed like he thought who is this person telling me what to do. My only problem with someone verbally discipling my son is if I don't like them and they know it or they seem to not be a good mom because their child is causing the same type of problem my son is and they choose to yell at him and not their own.

babyc... babycakes254

hell yea if they are in your house I believe you have every right to, especially if they are not gonna listen to their parents. We had a friend stay with us and she had 3 kids...she partied all night and slept all day so I watched her kids and had to get stern with them ALOT of times because she was never around. I wasn't mean to them, but I let them know that they are going to obide by our rules in our house.

babyc... babycakes254

I don't believe its fine to physically (spanking, swatting, etc) someone else's child though.

MamiJ... MamiJaAyla

The poll is messed up.  I have no problems with scolding anyones kid and/or having them scold my kid (not interupting me though) and even if I don't 100% agree I tell thme they must listen to the adults b/c its respect.


If its in MY house I will time out, scold but not spank.  NO ONE better lay a finger on my kids (other than their immed. family)


I firmly believe it takes a village. (sides often they will listen to others better than to us)

JameM... JameMarieMommi

If I trust someone enough to have charge of my daughter when I'm away, I trust them to discipline her. That being said, I have disciplined children that I've had charge of, but only when their parents aren't there to do it. I have even spanked a friends little boy (age, 4) because he bit his brother, but I did call their Mom first. I reserve spanking for things that may harm them or someone else, but every child needs to be told that they're doing something wrong if they are, just so they learn what is right and wrong, and if you'e the one in charge of them, you kind of have to tell them. At the same time, if the kids are doing something good, they should be told/rewarded as well.

Pinky... Pinkysforever21

Um...My daughter is only (in two days) 20 months and she isn't as bad as most babys her age are. To be honest no parent has that right over my daughter weather they feel they do or not, basically if you have a problem with something that you feel my daughter is doing "wrong" then you tell me but never take dicipline into you own hands. If I am not there you call me up and let me know whats up.

tyheamma tyheamma

If I'm not around or am asleep at the wheel, I think it's fine for someone else to scold my daughter when she needs it. That said, I'd have a major problem with anyone else hitting my daughter.

chame... chamelinmom

My view on parents who say no, then they should be at their childs side 24/7 and not leave it and disapline them when nessasary

honey... honeybea3

I've reprimanded others children.  If the parents aren't going to do it or don't see it then the child needs to be corrected if they are doing something that is morally, physically, or emotionally  harmful to themselves or someone else.  I NEVER lay a hand on someone else's child.  That opens up way to much liability for me to be sued or lose a friend.   If my child is under the care of someone else or I am present but not witnessing bad behavior then I expect another responsible adult to correct my child in a manner appropriate to their behavior, according to the rules I've laid out for them.

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