My Toddler Isn't That Bright: There, I Said It

I realize that three-year-olds aren't supposed to develop unified field theories. Still, judging by some of the things my daughter believes, she's one light bulb short of a box.

My wife thinks these beliefs are not only normal, but adorable and that I need to STFU. She's probably right. Still, I'm no longer banking on that college scholarship.

Here are 10 signs my daughter isn't a child genius.



She believes:

  1. That Dora the Explorer, and everyone else on TV or our iPad, is physically inside the device and watching her.
  2. That the sun goes to sleep at night.
  3. That she saw Mickey Mouse himself skating at "Disney on Ice."
  4. That you can buy money.
  5. That if it takes 30 minutes to drive somewhere, the return trip can be accomplished in 30 seconds.
  6. That she can get sucked down a bathtub drain.
  7. That chicken on a menu only coincidentally shares a name with chicken in a petting zoo.
  8. That she sometimes catches us saying "Oh, frog!"
  9. The moon can be reached with strong-enough legs.
  10. That I actually have her nose.

Is your child not so smart?

Image via Corey Levitan

learning, toddler development


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Todd Vrancic

The concept of buying money is called abitrage(sp?).  Technically, you can, indeed, buy money.

BPayne09 BPayne09

Wow you think so highly of your child. I think she sounds like a normal, bright 3 year old.

MrsLa... MrsLandon2012

Previous posters are obviously keen on sarcasm. I thought that was hilarious. 

sassy... sassykat122

BPayne09 did you not hear the sarcasm?

NatAndCo NatAndCo

Its not a problem with understanding sarcasm. The sense of humor is obviously lacking though.

sassy... sassykat122

Not really, just your understanding of it, and I don't usually like Corey's posts

belie... believeitornot

Sarcasm or not, some things you don't joke about. Belittling your children isn't funny.

Dan Connell

Corey's sense of humor is like Monty Python. You either love it or you don't.  Not too much middle ground.  I think his kid is normal for a three year old, except she has adorable eyes the size of tea cup saucers! ... At age 3, mine was like that too... except he has his mom's Asian eyes and he never thought that Dora was in the iPad and/or watching him.

However, wish more people had the nerve to say that their child is "so-so" and won't grow up to be a genius. How many genius-type people do you know? Not many for me...

Why does every parent I meet (sans Corey!) seem to think their kid is the smartest and most brilliant?


It's for humor ladies!!!

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