I'm raising my three-year-old oblivious to all current music... while I still can.
I long ago lost the battle for TV influence to her daycare classmates, who sucked her into "Elmo" and now "Doc McStuffins" and will probably teach her to smoke soon.
But in the car, my iTunes library is all the music that exists. And most of the selections I play from it were recorded 15 of her lifetimes ago.
Skylar doesn't realize how obsolete it is to "na-na" along to "Hey Jude" or "la-diddy-da" to "Piano Man," as I did at her age. She has no clue that the Beatles are half dead and Billy Joel can now pass for Vladimir Lenin. And I never tell her. In fact, I'll sometimes describe a song she hasn't heard as "new" because that makes it seem cooler and what does she know?
Even outside the car, this ruse is easy to perpetrate. Classic rock plays whenever we shop, and the Mirage Hotel in Las Vegas (where we live) is draped in a Beatles banner and boasts a show with a store that sells only merch emblazoned with the group's youthful faces. (It's where I snapped the photo of John, Paul, George, Ringo and Skylar above.)
Cracks are starting to show, however. For instance, the constant activation of my melody-recognition app raises a bit of a red flag whenever we walk through a mall and she asks "what song is that?" I figure I only have about another year before she's commanding me to download the entire Justin Bieber collection. Or something suckier. If that's even possible.
Will she be pissed once she realizes how out of touch I've kept her from own generation? Oh, for sure. However, later on, I think she'll thank me for the foundation -- especially if she becomes a musician or values in any way not having crappy taste.
How do you abuse your power to mold your child's pop-culture influences while you still can?
Image via Corey Levitan