My 3-Year-Old Has a Boyfriend & I'm Not Ready

You always hear that kids are doing it younger and younger these days. But nothing prepares you for that moment when your 3-year-old daughter announces that she has a boyfriend.

Skylar and Ike have known each other since infancy, when they shared a nanny, diapers, Goldfish crackers, and, apparently, a slowly building set of feelings for one another.

Skylar now says that she loves Ike. And I need to respect her feelings or risk causing a Romeo and Juliet situation.


Skylar and Ike get together every Friday, when Ike's dad is off work and Skylar and I come over because I am always off work. Last week, right after Yo Gabba Gabba, Ike made his intentions clear. He asked Skylar if she wanted to see his Spider-Man sheets, and boom, they spent nap time together. (He's real slick, that Ike.)

Don't get me wrong. Skylar could do worse. Ike seems to genuinely care for my daughter -- often even enough to share his prized toy fire engine. And he intends to be a superhero when he grows up, which I understand is lucrative.

However, this development throws a sizable wrench into my plans to raise my daughter as a lesbian. Also, to be honest, Ike is a little wild for my taste. Recently, we all visited the duck pond. While Skylar knelt down with me to feed some mallards, Ike spent his time sliding down a nearby hill headfirst into sharp rocks while pigeons attacked his bag of bread. I don't know the over-under on what adult behavior this predicts, but I suspect that motorcycles and tattoos will be involved.

When is it appropriate to let your daughter date?

Image via Corey Levitan

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