An article was recently published in Huffington Post that details ways in which working moms can get the "best sleep ever." As a person who ought to have stock in undereye concealer, I don't think I've ever clicked on anything so fast. But, sadly, I was a bit disappointed when I learned that the tips were things we've all heard countless times -- be careful of what you eat before bed; set a bedtime and stick to it; don't try to go back to sleep in the middle of the night if you feel like you can't. All fine enough advice, but come on, guys. As a working mom, I want to know how to get some real sleep.
In response to the article, I compiled my own list of tips on how to get the best sleep ever, and although these tips 1,000 percent are not medically or psychologically endorsed, I can almost guarantee you you'll get a solid night's shut eye if you follow some or all of them.
Here are 5 tips for working moms to get the best night's sleep ever.
1. Quit your job! Go on, do it! You know you think about it every morning when that god-forsaken iPhone alarm goes off. Just think, if you didn't have to work, you could sleep until your baby sleeps. That's what? At LEAST another hour! Who needs to get paid in dollar signs when they can get paid in ZZZs? And I can promise you, your new "coworker" won't give a crap if your hair or teeth are brushed.
2. Quit your job as a parent. You know you've fantasized about this, too. Give your kids your two weeks and then go do you. Who's going to take care of them? NYP, my friend, not your problem. You're not going to be worrying about your old job once you leave, are you? Why should you worry about your kids?
3. One word: Medicate. There's a whole world of doctors out there willing to prescribe some pretty fantastic sleep aids, anxiety reducers, and muscle relaxers. In fact, if you know of one, email me, please.
4. Go on vacation. If you're looking for a more short-term solution, i.e., you're feeling run-down and just want to catch up on some sleep, take a trip sans the kids. No, you may not be able to afford it, but what's worse: Looking at a low-balanced credit card statement as a tired person, or looking at an astronomically high one as a rested person? That's what I thought.
5. Start going to bed at 5:30. P.M. As soon as you walk in the door, say hi to the kids and then let them fend for themselves the remainder of the evening. Sure, it won't be easy at first to fall asleep that early, but see #3 for help.
Do you feel well-rested? For the love of all that is holy, what is your secret?
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