Moms Share 10 Worst Insults They’ve Heard From Their Kids

Kids. It's a good thing we love them so much because, man, can they be assholes.

This is a picture my son drew of me last year. Not just any picture ... it was supposed to be a realistic portrait. A glimpse of how he saw me.

I'm not sure I've completely recovered yet. 

Between that, the way my daughter questions my clothing choices, the pointing out of every line on my face ... it's a wonder I have the confidence to leave the house. 

I asked my friends to share some feedback their kids gave them, and it turns out I'm not alone. Here are some of their most recent insults ...

1. "Go put your makeup on. I don't like your face like that."

2. While playing with my bra, my daughter said: "Mama, when I get bigger, my boobs are going to be up like this ... not down like yours."

3. Getting ready for date night with husband when my son tells me, "I like your makeup. You look like batman!" I was attempting a smokey eye. 

4. "Mommy! You look pretty! And I'm not even tricking you this time!"

5. "Your breath makes me want to throw up."

6. "Mom, your boobs are lazy, they are always laying down."

7. "I know where something yellow is! Your teeth!"

8. My 4-year-old went through a phase a while back where she decided to give everyone cute animal names. Her baby brother was "little chicken." Her dad was "brown bear." And me? "Hippo mommy!"

9. My son reminded me one evening before I got in the shower to not forget to shave like Daddy. My whiskers were scratching him when I kissed him.

10. "If there's no baby in there, why does your tummy look like that?"

Has your kid insulted you lately?


Image via Scary Mommy



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Rebec... Rebecca7708

Uh, they aren't intentionally trying to insult me but, my boys frequently tell me they love my big, squishy belly. They say it is very comfy to snuggle on.


Awww kids!!! Such innocent lil' stinkers...good laugh

Bruic... Bruickson

Ha! My 4 yr old calls me old(I'm 29) and always says "please don't wear pajamas to take me to school".

nonmember avatar Ukara

Thank you for the great laugh. The picture had me nearly in tears. Sadly, I have heard a few of these comments along with:it's icky when you don't shave your legs, and Are you going to the store in your PJs--what do you mean those aren't your PJs? And my favorite: what's that skin under your chin--is it called a double chin? Why do you have it?
Yes, why do I have anything?

zombi... zombiemommy916

Oh God, that picture! kids affectionately call me "Mommy Rex" because I have stubby little arms and I can't reach anything...I use an old lady grabber (awesome invention) and they think it's hilarious when perfect strangers have to help me grocery shop

Jozemom Jozemom

The other day my son came up to me for a cuddle and said "you smell like a mom" I laughed and said "what do moms smell like", to which he replies "like potatoes".  I'm not really sure if that was an insult or not lol

Another time my son was helping me fold clothes and was sorting the underwear and socks. He holds up a pair of my undies and says "these go in the mommy pile cus their huge!" 

kingm... kingme1955

   Yep- it starts again with grandchildren. A few years ago, one of my grandsons told me not to worry about my hair getting gray because it meant I was getting "wiser". I never  went to the drugstore so fast in my life!cat

Erin Butcher

my 3 year old son tells me i need to "get rid of the spiders" when i haven't shaved my legs in a couple days...

Demon... DemonasMom

When my brother was little he wrote my dad a cute little poem for Father's Day that included the lines "my dad is 4ft tall and round as a ball"

femal... femaleMIKE

You look like the mother from the honey boo boo show in that picture.

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