I've written many tales about some of the weird stuff I've said to my kids over the years, from "Please stop smelling the cat" to "We keep our pants on in public" to "Gum you find under tables is not 'free' gum." As strange as those phrases are, they never even fazed me when I said them. In fact, they made perfect sense at the time.
I remember having to constantly ask my daughter, Ry, to stop licking me. Until then, that request had been reserved for our puppy. Looking back, it appears there are quite a few similarities between toddlers and puppies, odd phrases included.
Either I've just crossed that fine line into insanity or this comparison is kinda brilliant, you be the judge. Here are 28 ways puppies and toddlers are similar:
1. They have no concept of time.
2. They knock stuff down while excited.
3. Their toys make loud noises and they leave them everywhere.
4. You can bribe them with treats.
5. They're the reason your furniture needs replacing, but also the reason you wouldn't dream of replacing it.
6. They fall asleep in random places at random times.
7. When you're in the bathroom, there's nowhere else they'd rather be.
8. They have accidents in the house.
9. They seem to take up the whole bed, no matter how small they are.
10. They whine when they don't get their way.
11. They drool on stuff.
12. When you talk to them, you're not sure if they understand a word you're saying (this goes on until they hit college ... the kids, not the dogs, well, unless you have a crazy smart dog).
13. When they're young, they sleep better behind bars.
14. They crave the attention of everyone that comes to your house, from play dates ... to the UPS guy.
15. They rarely listen the first time you say something.
16. You can't trust them when wearing your nice clothes.
17. Their pictures use up most of the memory on your phone.
18. Their sad faces are extremely persuasive.
19. They get jealous when you pick up a baby.
20. You find yourself telling anyone who'll listen stories about the funny things they do.
21. They make you wish you owned stock in Bounty.
22. It takes a serious tone to get their attention.
23. There's really nothing cuter.
24. They like to chew on things.
25. They wake you in the middle of the night.
26. You struggled for an inordinate amount of time to give them the perfect name.
27. When guests come over, you make them show off their best tricks ("Rufus, roll over"; "Lily, sing 'Roar'").
28. They both bite the mailman.
Fine, the last one may have only applied to mine, but I think I make a pretty good case. If this were a Venn diagram, there would definitely be more overlap than you originally imagined.
Got any to add?
Image via JenEcards/TheSuburbanJungle