I'm Raising My 3-Year-Old Daughter to Be a Lesbian

LOL 55

A couple of my friends have had their children come out. This knocked them for a bit of a loop when it happened. No matter your politics, you always want the easiest road possible ahead for your kid.

Not me. In fact, my wife and I are raising our daughter as a lesbian. We're religiously watching Ellen and sprinkling Ani DiFranco songs into our Spotify playlists. We encourage play dates with her female daycare classmates. And, as I revealed in a previous Stir blog, I walk around the house naked, which should forever put her off to the male form.

Men are just disgusting. I know, being one occasionally myself. I'm crass, smelly, and selfish and all I ever want is sex (when I'm not hungry or tired).

More from The Stir: Smart Kid Says Gay Marriage Is Good if There's Love (VIDEO)

Fifty years ago, women needed men to have children, to eat food, and to live indoors. But all that has changed. So why not take advantage?

Some people claim that sexual orientation isn't a choice but an inborn trait. They cite things like "science" and "facts." But I know we're doing all we can, in case they're wrong.

When Skylar grows up, I want her to know the joy of exchanging clothes and fashion advice with a significant other. I don't want her forced to watch the Oxygen Channel alone. And, oh yeah, I want her in relationships with people who put her feelings above their own.

Would you really be as liberal as you think if your child came out to you?


Image by Corey Levitan

being a mom

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SNAPA SNAPA

Good God yes...we knew for a very long time our daughter was gay--SHE WAS THE ONE IN DENIAL!!!  Anyhoo, the day she wanted to have a serious talk with me when I got home from work was classic.  She finally said she was gay and I just looked at her and said Ok.  I was just relieved she wasn't asking for any money--I was broke.

nonmember avatar Emmie

Honestly, my greatest hope for my children is that they grow up to be truly happy. If part of that equation is a significant other of the same gender, than so be it. I would be totally fine with it.

jrphelps jrphelps

You are my favorite blogger on The Stir!!

Happy... Happydad73

Wow. For all the liberal mumbo jumbo about being born that way, now you can raise them to be gay. Amazing. So raising our kids to be straight should be ok too, right? Or is it you are only allowed to 'teach' them the PC gay agenda way?

ashjo85 ashjo85

I would absolutely be ok with it. Your kid is your kid!


Happy Dad, you need to learn to recognize tongue-in-cheek humor.

dreab... dreabug23

What exactly is 'the gay agenda' HappyDad73?

Choco... Chocodoxies

Yes, HappyDad73, what is this "gay agenda" you speak of? 

nonmember avatar marla

Corey cracks me up, and has for years. This is satire based on a little truth. But its good to dialog about and start the conversation. Keep it coming, Corey! We love you here in Denver! And skylar does look a little indigo girlish if u ask me.

nonmember avatar M.

My boyfriend, his ex wife and I have all had the thought that our 13 year old might possibly be a lesbian. She just recently came out to all of us, as not really liking boys and thinking she'd rather be in a relationship with a girl. We were all supportive, and she's now dating a girl in her grade. She's only encountered one issue, and that was with her maternal grandma, and she handled that like a champ. She's well adjusted, gets good grades and knows she has a support system for whatever decision she makes, even if she does decide that girls aren't her thing and decides to date a boy. Nothing wrong with raising a child to have confidence in themselves and the way they feel.

Stashlee Stashlee

Are you going to make her come out a straight if she is in fact not a lesbian?

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