My Toddler's Preschool Report Card Can't Even Spell Trouble (PHOTO)

My two-year-old daughter knows 10 letters of the alphabet and may be outpacing her own teachers in that regard. At left is a scan of the top portion of the progress report my wife and I received from our daughter's preschool last month, I poop you not. It indicates that she received a thorough introduction to "famouse artist and there paintings."


Who says kids these days aren't getting any culture? Mine is apparently learning all about Van Go, Monay and Dolly. Maybe one day she will become a famouse painter herself. Or work in a paint store.

We had Skylar in a better preschool while I was working. But since I got laid off, this was the only one we could afford that was close, looked nice and wasn't in a bowling alley.

And it's not like she's learning grammar from this person. She's attending preschool basically so she can socialize with other kids (she's an only child) and so I can tell my wife that I've been looking for a fulltime job all day even though I've been on Facebook.

But wait. This endlessly entertaining slip of paper isn't even done revealing all its surprises, because it also tells us that our daughter learned about "ars." All I can say is that I sincerely hope the word the teacher misspelled this time was not "arse," because my daughter reportedly learns about it every day, and it was her favorite theme last month.

But I'm not being fair, at least not according to today's congratulatory educational culture. Out of the 11 words this person wrote, only four were misspelled (including my daughter's first name). In other words, seven were entirely correct! That's nearly 64 percent, which should be vigorously applauded, because everyone is amazing in their own unique way and, anyway, it's not results that matter, but how hard we all appear to try.

What terrifies you the most about your toddler's preschool?

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