'Help, My Kid Is Dying!' & Other Internet Diagnoses From a Hypochondriac Dad

Recently, our daughter got an alarming facial rash. Dr. Levitan, MD/OCD, immediately searched for a deadly disease for her to have. I found one within seconds. (Thank you, Internet!) The part that took hours was Googling how long German measles can go untreated in toddlers before they die.

By the time my wife finally got out of bed to see for herself, the rash was gone. I had forgotten that I rubbed my unshaven face into the left side of my daughter's neck before she went to bed.

Here are some other diagnoses I have made with the help of Internet medical sites and what the problem turned out to be:


Flesh-Eating Disease
What It Really Was: Cut

Brain Tumor
What It Really Was: Eye pain caused by an antibiotic allergy

Deadly Parasite
What It Really Was: Carrot-juice diaper event

Skin Cancer
What It Really Was: Wild-rice grain stuck to foot

What It Really Was: Forgotten cherry juice

Whooping Cough
What It Really Was: Cough

What was your worst Internet diagnosis that turned out to be nothing?

Image via RSVP Photo Art/Flickr

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