Toddlers are tough nuts to crack sometimes. They’re mobile. They are learning to communicate but frequently frustrated at their difficulty in doing it effectively. Also they think they don’t need naps, but they really do. And by them needing naps, I of course mean their parents need naps.
But there is an upside. If you survive toddlerhood, you’ll be prepared for just about anything.
Here are six scenarios you’ll be (at least semi) prepared for after raising toddlers.
Fascism: Toddlers are like little dictators sometimes. Benevolent when they’re pleased with you, their loyal subject, but Heaven help you if you cross them. Also, Napoleon was short. Toddlers are short. Are you trying to tell me that’s a coincidence?
Famine: There are enough goldfish crackers and Cheerios hidden under your couch cushions, behind dressers, the backseat of your car, and every single nook and cranny of everything you own that your family will be well fed for eons.
The zombie apocalypse: One shambling toddler is hard enough to deal with, but mostly manageable. When they inadvertently team up against you, say at a play date or birthday party, kudos to you just for surviving without getting bit.
More from The Stir: 6 Ways Toddlers Are Just Like Little Monkeys (PHOTOS)
Teenagers: Supposedly moody, belligerent little people turn into moody, belligerent taller people in about 10 years. Goody.
Another stone age: Toddlers are like uncivilized little cavemen. You’re fluent in grunted demands and you’re gifted in letting them think they got away with something just so they won’t hit you over the head with a club.
Prison: There’s always someone watching you pee, someone screams at you to wake up, and shower time is the most tension-filled part of your day week because you just know something bad is going to happen while you’re in there.
What else are toddlers like sometimes?
Image via mliu92/Flickr