15 Things Only Crunchy Moms Worry About

Mom Moment 59

Crunchy mamas. Also known as granola, natural, earthy, or just plain old hippie moms. They are the gurus that don’t worry about whether Baby Einstein will turn their babies into TV addicts, because they probably don’t even own a set. They cloth diaper, co-sleep, and delay vaccinations -- if they don’t opt out entirely.

But not everything is always roses, no matter how nutrient rich the organic compost is. Here is a list of 15 things that only crunchy moms really worry about.

  1. Whole Foods might run out of your favorite brand of coconut oil.
  2. You missed the chicken pox party.
  3. You grieve your emergency C-section.
  4. Someone might feed your kids fruit snacks red dye 40 on a play date.
  5. Astronomical chiropractor fees from the strain of wearing your kids for years.
  6. Coordinating your sling with your kid’s teething necklace.
  7. Finding shoes to go out in because you don’t wear them at home.
  8. Your kids finding out about happy meals.
  9. Homeschooling or un-schooling?
  10. The store only has homogenized cow’s milk -- no raw, goat, or hemp milk anywhere!
  11. Your child might self-wean before age three.
  12. Your child might not self-wean by kindergarten.
  13. You forgot to do laundry and now you’re out of clean (cloth) diapers.
  14. You’re out of laundry soap and out of ingredients to make more.
  15. Is your homemade natural deodorant working, or is that your own B.O. you smell?

Do you worry about any of these things? Do you consider yourself a crunchy mama?

Image via Jonathan Kingston/Corbis

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Movie... Moviebuff

#16 How much I'm screwing up my kids.

botwp botwp

#3 should be that I grieve having an epidural. I know it is silly since I had been in labor 22 hours (yes twenty-two) by the time I got it, but I still feel upset about it.

Stacey Clarquist Starkell

botwp, I can relate!  I got my epidural after 19 hours of labor.  It was something I was not going to do at all!  And, I felt bad too.  Only thing is the dumb thing didn't work for me, b/c my blood pressure was too low, so they could never up the dosage enough for it to make a difference (except for one pain free hour, when one particular nurse wasn't paying enough attention to my blood pressure and she upped the amount, and I felt no pain, ahh!).  Oh well, I digress.  But agree number 3 should be epidural.


Lilit... Lilith.23

I begged for an epidural but i was allergic to a product in it or whatever, :/ childbirth was a bitch for me!

On the questions; nawope none of the above....ok maybe the shoes one.

merma... mermaid13dragon

I worry people will feed my child (fruit snacks) Red Dye #40 !  (& I still feel bad about  the epidural I got after 36 hours of labor )

Katie Weiss

Yes to 7, 11, 12, 13 & 15. I eventually gave up on homemade deodorant because it just doesn't work for me!

Black... BlackLidya

When i first read this I thought it will offend the granola out of  'crunchy mamas',but i am sooo surprised that nobody actually wrote that.

I try to be as 'crunchy' as i can,and it sounded rather offensive to me...shocker was I was the only one. Hmmm...must be all real stuff then.

Allison Hanson

I think it is so small minded to continue the stereo types....of EVERYBODY.  No one deserves to be pigeon-holed into ONE type of person.  People have dimensions and layers and they cannot be dumbed down to one specific type, like "soccer mom", "crunchy mom", "helicopter mom", and "free-range mom".....it is getting ridiculous and the Stir needs a complete make-over...this site is a joke, I am soooooo un"liking" you now.

nonmember avatar notearmumma

This is probably aiming to be offensive, but sounds just plain ignorant! I'm not even that "crunchy" and the tone of this bothers me. Why can't people mind their own business & leave other to raise their children they way they think is right. You don't see granola mummies writing articles about what the east should worry about they don't care! What they care is their own families & I don't see them hurting anybody with that, but quite opposite!

miche... micheledo

Ha ha.  I consider myself crunchy and it didn't offend me.

I DO worry that I won't get the diapers clean before needing them.  Though I have a bunch of prefolds I can lay baby on if necessary!  And I regret being induced with my first three babies.  :(  Oh well.  When you know better, you do better!

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